Older Child Adopt-Do they ever really love you?

older kids come with older kid baggage that sometimes you cannot nip in the bud. it's there. you can prune it back, train it to your desires sometimes, but it's too late for bud nipping. the thorns have already taken over the bloom. but yeah, she needs some consequences for being so disrespectful. since you are so forgetful, perhaps you will forget to take P to her next class or lesson. maybe you'll forget to buy her a treat next time. maybe you'll just decide that disrespectful kids don't get cool stuff like lessons and treats. it's okay to put down the limits about behavior. it's also okay to parent any way you see fit. i know that you're feeling under the microscope. the bottom line is that you need to decide what is fair for YOU. you've always been more than fair with P. it's okay to say this is the end and mean it. it's okay to say you won't be putting up with this crap any longer. it's okay to say here are the consequences for your behavior. and it's even okay to keep on doing it until P gets it. yes, you'll get backlash. it's the way of RAD and PTSD and bipolar and ODD and every other thing i can think of. and it's okay to hate the backlash and wish you had never put on the brakes. BUT--in the long run you'll both be happier if she understands that there are limits. limits never mean loss of love and affection. it's okay to have them. just keep trying. you really can do this.