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Quick question about respite but first have to tell you what happen. I had a respite with 2 sisters. I had respite with one before but not the other. Anyway, I picked them up on a Friday evening. When we picked up the girls they smelled really bad and you could tell that their hair hasn't been combed in a very long time. When we got home I gave them dinner, bath then bed. When getting their pj's out of their bag, I notice one of the girls didn't have pj's and neither of them had a tooth brush or hair brush. Their bag had dirty clothes along with clean clothes. I was totally upset. I was SMH in amazement. Why would anyone have these kids and in this condition. I don't mean to pass judgement to the FP's but why would you have these children in this condition. I mentioned it to my caseworker just to see whatt she would say but all I or back was a bunch of excuses on why these little girls were in that condition. I couldnt believe my ears. I felt Bad for these girls. They shouldn't have to live in the condition. It's not fair. It's bad enough that they aren't being taken care of by their family but to be in Foster care and live that way is horrible.... Do you think I should report it to someone else or just ignore it. Has anyone had a respite like this?
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Yes and along with too small, too few clothing, they had nasty car seats with NO padding on them! The kids also told me some disturbing things as well. I reported what I saw, careful to state just the facts and not come across as nitpicky or tattle-taling. The kids were moved from their home within days and placed in a better foster home. To my knowledge, the troubling foster home is not getting foster kids anymore. I don't understand why people take FK's if they don't want them? It's evident that some people truly don't like the kids.
Half of the respites I have gotten have not had tooth brushes (I have a lot of extra now). Some only have one pair of socks (I have extra now). One pair of underwear (I have extra) Others have only had one pair of pajama's at two years old for a week (I also have extra). Each respite that I get I end up going shopping and buying something that I did not know that I would need or thought of something new. My last kids had sensitive skin so now I have to go buy some detergent free laundry soap. I have extra clothes of all sizes if they do not come with enough clothes. I don't pack like this but there are people who do. Even if they come with everything I can think of something new to buy for different ages that I did not think or thought they would have. I'm an over packer with my foster kids but I am ready for kids not having enough.
bellarose13
Quick question about respite but first have to tell you what happen. I had a respite with 2 sisters. I had respite with one before but not the other. Anyway, I picked them up on a Friday evening. When we picked up the girls they smelled really bad and you could tell that their hair hasn't been combed in a very long time. When we got home I gave them dinner, bath then bed. When getting their pj's out of their bag, I notice one of the girls didn't have pj's and neither of them had a tooth brush or hair brush. Their bag had dirty clothes along with clean clothes. I was totally upset. I was SMH in amazement. Why would anyone have these kids and in this condition.
I had a little one come like that to me for respite. She had a sippy cup that STANK-- like it hadn't been washed for weeks. No diapers were packed, and this kid wasn't even potty trained during the daytime--she was in diapers full time. PJs that were packed were too small, and only a handful of the clothing ended up fitting this child. No toothbrush or comb or pony tail holders or anything! Child was very delayed, and fm recommended to me that I strap her into a car seat to keep her in her bedroom when falling asleep. Um, yeah. Certainly, this child did scream when it was bedtime, but there was zero chance of me strapping her into a carseat. I just kept putting her back in her bed. It only lasted about 30 minutes, and then she was asleep.
I did speak to the caseworker about it. This caseworker was also my kids' caseworker at the time, and she said they were already working on moving the kids. The little girl I did respite for was one of a sib set of 3, and the fm was just completely overwhelmed. She was older, and just not prepared to deal with the needs/behaviors of this sibling set (the little one I had was a 3 y.o. functioning on the level of about an 18 month old, and there was another sister and a brother who had real behavior issues) in addition to her own children.
I don't think, in this case, that the fm didn't care. I think she was at her wits end, and didn't know what to do, and couldn't even take care of the basics (like diapers, clean sippy cups, etc) for these kids, let alone figuring out how to put them to bed properly.
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We just encountered this very issue. We are new to FP. We were shocked at the state the girls(2) were in when dropped off! We live in snow country, she dropped the baby off with only 2 pairs of pants & shirts. All the clothes for both girls where dirty & urine soaked. No hair brush, tooth paste that was covered in animal hair. Told me not to feed the girls carbs, to limit their food intake because they were food hoarders & purgers... And the 2 year old out weighs her 4 yr old by almost 6 lbs.(2 yr old weighs 36lbs)Um they are 1 & 2!!! Mind you foster mom weighs about 98lbs soaking wet! So it was very obvious that foster mom has food issues she's transferring/projecting on all children in the home. I notified our agency worker of the conditions & let her know we have not observed any of the behaviors she said they demonstraight on an hourly basis everyday. The agency worker stated they have been concerned with this particular family & placement. So long story short. The CPS caseworker, supervisor & foster agency worker all agreed the girls where thriving in our home & asked if we'd like to foster them we said sure. Their great girls who need lots of love & attention and we can give that too them. It's the 2 yr olds 3rd time in the system! So theres a high likely hood for adoption. Well during the time we had the girls they got sick, so it wasn't all rainbows & unicorns! They waited to tell the previous foster mom of the re-homing till she got back into town. Well she didn't take it to well! She started calling us & accusing us of stealing her girls and that it was so unfair! She apparently called in a favor to her friend who works for CPS and pressured the case worker & supervisor to reverse their decision. Well case worker wouldn't, so she was removed from the case & the supervisor caved and reversed the placement! Ugh!!! Really is it possible to do what's in the girls best interests! So the foster agency worker came & got the girls. She said she felt really bad & was really unhappy with what was happening. She drove the girls away & you could hear the 2yr old crying for daddy(my hubby). She said during the custody exchange the girls acted like they didn't even know who the foster mom was... By far her weirdest exchange to date & she's been doing this for 15yrs. So we're just so upset that they didn't do what was in the best interest of the girls, and let a foster mom dictate placement! She has 3 bio kids & a foster baby that is a year & half with severe uncontrolled asthma(who has numerous treatments & hospitalizations & medical apt's)So there's 4 kids under 2.5 and all 6 are under 6.5! I think she's just overwhelmed. But she's unwilling to do what's best for the girls. What if any recourse do we have? We fell in love with these little girls and want what's best for them! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
