Advertisements
I have been searching for my birthmom/parent for about 3 years. I got a lead on my birthdad. He and his parents posted something on the hospitals web site. I saw it last night. I was THIRILLED! The story matched mine perfectly. Sadly, I did more research and was able to find them on facebook. They aren't the right people. They don't look like me. Race wise.
When I started searching I told myself I won't get emotionally invested in this and that it really doesn't matter either way. But I was sooooo close. :grr:
Like
Share
Are you SURE? Genetics can be very, very strange things. Don't rule it out. Do you know the race of your birth mom? I am raising two full biological sisters, one looks a different race than the other. One takes after a grandparent, the other takes after the rest of their bio family. I have another good friend that adopted a child from a very dark African-American mother. Their son is blond, blue eyes and has slightly curly hair. Father was actually bi-racial but was not that light, but the "white genes" went to their child -- and birth mom also had a cc ancestor. All that to say, although it might be a surprise -- don't think it is an impossibility.
Advertisements
okay... so i got an email back from the guy. he gave me his number. i'm still highly doubtful it is him. i dont know what to say when i call. i'm sorry, i know i sound dumb, but i dont want him to get hurt. he seems so excited.
I'm not shutting myself off to the possibility but i don't know exactly what to say. i plan on asking him vauge questions to see if things match up. if they don't, what do i say? i don't want to crush the guy. i'm shaking im so nervous
Advertisements
If the details don't match up just tell him that, something along the lines of thank you so much for talking to me, but this this and this don't match so you must not be who I am looking for. Then wish him well in his search and move along. I am hopeful for you and will cross my fingers for you! :-)
Okay, so I talked to him and it is not him. My adoption was a closed one. He told me my birthmom gave him pictures of his baby. I said that is impossible (i called my amom afterwards to double check and she said she didn't send anything) He kept talking about the similarities in our stories and everytime I negated something, he told me "but you aren't positive". I did keep an open mind. But there were a lot of things he told me, that were not on the internet, that did not match.
The birthday was the main thing. His kept telling me that maybe I was wrong about my birthday. His child was born in December. I was born in September. My aparents were at the hospital when my birthmom was giving birth. They were in the waiting room. They saw me in the nursery on September 2, 1986. There is ZERO possibility that the date is incorrect. The pictures I posess prove it.
I told the guy that exactly what LLise8153 typed and he wouldn't accept it.
I feel bad for him because he wanted a match sooo much. He was trying to make connections like, "you sound like my other child" and "your interest in law enforcement runs in the family". I'm not typing this to make fun of him. I just feel horrible that I got his hopes up. I didn't want to be mean and say "you can't force the pieces to fit" so I agreed to keep his number and let him know if I find anything out. When we said goodbye, it almost seemed like he was tearing up. I feel awful.
Also I want to add that I finally got in contact with my attorney. (yay! :) ). She said my stuff is in storage but that she would look for everything that she can legally give me. It's not going to be much but it is a start. I have also enlisted the help of a search angel.
My expectations are low for everything. I haven't given up hope, but I have accepted that things may not work out exactly how I have hope.
Thank you for the response :)
