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We adopted our foster child almost two years ago. Prior to BM giving up her parental rights she asked if we would be willing to send her pictures. We said we would. After the adoption we sent her pictures and she put them on her myspace page and claimed that she was still her daughter. She has done that a number of times with pictures we have sent. We didn't hear from BM for about a year and now we just got a letter asking for more pictures and for those pictures to be sent to an address in another state. I know we said we would sent her pictures and I like to keep my word, but I don't like that she is taking the pictures and putting them on her myspace page and claiming that our daughter is still her daughter. I don't know any of the people that view her pictures. I also am uncomfortable sending pictures to an address she has never given to us before. I need to protect our daughter but I also want to keep my word. Throughout our fostering her BM was always lying to everyone. I don't feel like I can trust her. I'm not sure what to do. Any advice would be helpful.
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Do you have an enforceable agreement in place requiring you to send pictures? If not, I would not send them. I would just send a note back to mom that you are not able to send pictures due to safety concerns for your daughter- having seen them online. Even if you do have an agreement, I would send them with a letter stating they are not be posted on MySpace. (I would have done that after the first time that happened.) Keep in mind, she may just block you in the future from MySpace and still post them, so even if she says she won't post them, she might.
I haven't had to do this.....yet, but you could also contact MySpace and see if they will remove them, since she is your daughter and they are posted without your permission.
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Simple :D
Send her a picture. Tell her they are not to be placed online in any way shape or form. if you ever find out they have been placed online in any form, there will be no future pictures. period.
well, that's what i would do. It puts you 100% in the clear. If she chooses to disobey, she's chosen to lose the privilege of picture possession
I would do as wcurrry suggests. Send her one or two pictures with a very clear condition attached to them that they are for her alone and not for the public to see. Don't send any more pictures if they appear onlineSince all the pictures so far have been put online, I would send one or two in which she is not clearly identifiable. E.g. A picture in which she has face paint on, or an action shot which is a clear picture but her face isn't showing for instance. It's possible to send really nice photos that aren't very identifiable full face shots
ogbeach
After the adoption we sent her pictures and she put them on her myspace page and claimed that she was still her daughter. She has done that a number of times with pictures we have sent.
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My son's birthmom likes pictures too. I love keeping her updated this way, but I have the condition in place that WCurry mentioned. "Disrespect B's/our privacy by posting them online somewhere and I'll stop sending photos." :-) I do monitor their FB and Myspace sites too. So far, so good.