sexual acting out???

No, it is not typical 5 year old behavior - particularly the part about acting seductive around your boyfriend. Showering together or using the toilet with the door open is not, to my way of thinking, indicative of sexual abuse. But the behavior toward your boyfriend and the masturbation for attention is also problematic. I would definitely get her assessed for sexual abuse.Poor little girl.

You are not overreacting. None of this is normal (in our society, which is where we live, so not normal.) "Normal" parents teach children they only touch themselves in private, so clearly, they've not learned that. The strip tease stuff -- triple trouble. First: document, document document. Each and every time she does something seductive towards BF. Compliment your BF on how great he handles it. Quote him saying it's not normal, he feels sorry for her, etc. Be sure to put in a TON about him not responding.If possible have another male over (friend, dad, brother, someone you trust) to see if she does the same, then document document document. Put all the details. If you've not documented before, do it now. Document the tub self-touching, also, and comments of sister. You have a good start here, disturbing is a great word to use. The SWs have seen it and heard it all before, don't hold back.In my home:--Shared baths are *over*. Done, finished, roasted and toasted.--Shared showers are over.--Conversations begin about "private parts" and "doing some things in private, which means only yourself there". And continue. --If I saw her touching herself w/ another person there, I'd say, "You need to stop that until you are alone. (repeat about private parts, things we do with only ourselves present)."--In private conversation (just the 2 of us) I'd tell the 7-yo to please feel free to tell me if there is any more touching, looking, etc. that creeps her out. Anything at all she wants to let me know, even if I don't see it.--I'd ask the SW to get counseling for them, ASAP, individual counseling.There's a reason why they separate siblings where SA has been an issue in the family. It tends to continue, and one child may be the victim.Good luck in dealing with this.

I dont think the family stuff you described is sexual (shared showers with the same gender, sleeping with mom, kissing on the lips etc). My children all lack modesty which is something we are working on since we do have foster children in and out a lot since I do a lot of respite. DH and I both grew up in a "prude" house and I had a lot of issues as an adult because of it so I've always been laid back in that department with my children. I don't want them to be self conscience or ashamed of their bodies as they get older. My 7 year is just now becoming more aware of his body and wanting to change in private (finally!!) I suspect this is more because we have talked SO much about privacy since starting foster care. We probably lacked in teaching them more about privacy when they were younger (we've never had an issue with them being inappropriate so it never came up til we did foster care) My children are probably *the* most naive kids around when it comes to sex stuff. Hubby "recently gave my 7 yo "the talk" because we thought we were getting a sib group that been exposed to A LOT of sexual things and we wanted him to learn from us rather than the 8 year old in the sib group. Anyways, their family background is similar to ours it sounds like and like I said, my kids are very naive to anything sexual. That being said, her behaviors do NOT sound normal. I think touching herself is normal (I hear girls are actually worse than boys in this aspect) but the seductive looks are NOT normal and neither is the strip tease. I think even the fact that the 7 yo knew to be uncomfortable by her looking at her "weird" while touching herself is a red flag. Definitely need to make strict privacy rules and in our house we enfore a "stay in your own bubble" rule when we have fosters here. My kids are affectionate, my 4 yo will climb on anyones lap for cuddles (if she knows them obviously). Its ok for her climb on aunt suzy's lap but Not so much on our 12 yo respite kiddos! The bubble rule has worked well in our house. If she is inappropriate with your boyfriend I'd enforce the bubble rule there, I think its fine for a typical 5 yo to go on laps but I wouldn't allow a seductive one to. Hope you can get them into therapy soon.

My DD went through a touching herself phase at 5. I freaked, asked around. It was surprisingly normal at that age (for girls). not sure it'll ease your mind, but she outgrew it (or got better at being discrete) in about 9 months. The lack of modesty -we went through that as well. Its more about a cultural difference than a sign of abuse. Endless reminders paid off Kissing on the lips and cosleeping are not signs of sexual abuse. We do those in our house. Again, its a cultural difference. The seduction can be a sign of a abuse - OR the kids are acting lout what they've seen. Therapy would be a could next step

The modesty thing is just a modesty thing, everyone has a different idea of what is modest enough. My kids ran around the house naked after baths, and took baths together until the oldest thought it was enough at about 6 or 7. Also at that time I remarried and my husband is super modest. I used to go to the bathroom with them in the bathroom and took showers with them until they were about 2 (may have longer if they were girls). However, I know plenty of families that shower with their same-gender children until they are about six or seven, and I have my youngest kiddo that still sleeps in my bed with me sometimes. That's not really that uncommon either. I think my youngest sisters slept in my parents bed about half the time until they were about six or seven. I kiss my boys on the lips at bedtime. I don't think that is weird at all, and they are six, eight and ten. But the seductive behavior, really that could be from watching inappropriate movies or the people that she hung around. She might have seen people acting like that all the time. Not that it is good, but doesn't mean it was sexual abuse...directly, you might say indirectly if she was exposed to pornography or live sexual acts in her household. The masturbation part, trying to get people to watch, might also be part of that, and might not mean that she was abused, but does need to be addressed because it might lead to premature sexual behavior or a preoccupation with sexual things. Her counselor should address this and give you ideas about how you should react in these situations.

The modesty issues are just how the girls were brought up and I wasn't questioning that but rather giving background. I am unsure if the touching of genitals is more for attention, out of boredom, or for pleasure. I know it is very common for children of all ages to play down there and it is only out of modesty that they start doing it behind doors. I feel like she is trying to get attention from my bf by using sexual maneuvers. She has seen us kiss and becomes more clingy, tries to interrupt, or makes pretend gagging sounds. I cant help but think about Freud and the Oedipus Complex. I googled it....The Oedipus complexIn the [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phallic_stage"]phallic stage[/URL], a boys decisive psychosexual experience is the Oedipus complex җ his sonfather competition for possession of mother. It is in this third stage of [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosexual_development"]psychosexual development[/URL] (ages 3֖6) that the childs genitalia are his or her primary [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erogenous_zone"]erogenous zone[/URL]; thus, when children become aware of their bodies, the bodies of other children, and the bodies of their parents, they gratify physical curiosity by undressing and exploring themselves, each other, and their genitals, so learning the [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_anatomy"]anatomic[/URL] differences between ғmale and ԓfemale and the [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender"]gender[/URL] differences between ԓboy and ԓgirl.Has anyone else seen this with their children? As a child I went through phases where i preferred one parent to another and pitted them against each other. I am just worried by the highly sexualized way of trying to get the attention.

5 year olds really should not be using sexuality as a tool. Most 5 year olds have seen their parents with intimate partners hugging or kissing and do not behave sexually as a result. I think her behavior (the seductive behavior) is a red flag. Masturbation is normal, but not as a way to get attention or to try to control others (the look on her face made her sister uncomfortable - maybe she knows she's controlling her sister's emotions). In any case, it is well worth being extra cautious and getting her therapy sooner rather than later.