Update and Questions (long and rambly)

March 18, 2012

missygooch

I know he's only three but my new guy hasn't asked about home. For the most part, hasn't asked for mom or where she is or when he'll see her. The very first night when he went to bed he cried and wanted mommy. But, since then, he hasn't asked about her or cried (other than when he was mad about something) or mentioned home. Just nothing that would make you think he's in distress. Is this the honeymoon?

I had that behavior with FD2, who was 2.5 at placement. FD1 NEVER cried about missing mom. FD2 stopped after first night, but she did try to leave with each worker who visited the first month. Then she quit. In retrospect, she was probably feeding off my high anxiety that first month. After talking to FD1's counselor, I later saw that these were signs of major attachment issues. FD2 bonded and attached to me quickly.

missygooch

He is comfortable enough to walk into the kitchen, open the fridge and then throw a fit (like a normal 3 yoa) when I tell him to shut the door because there's nothing until dinner. He's generally standoffish at first but will warm up after a while to some, not all, people. So maybe not an attachment issue but is the not asking or crying or acting sad normal?

Yep, neglect. Make sure he is actually chewing his food properly too. There were likely no boundaries at his birth home.

missygooch

He has not had a bowel movement since he's been here late Thursday afternoon. He urinates on a regular basis, he's eating, he hasn't said anything hurts and he's not acting like anything hurts. Is that normal?

My understanding is at that age it is not unusual to go a few days. Give him high fiber and see what happens. I do agree with the PP, ask him about his pottying habits. He may not have been fully trained, would not shock me in a boy at age 3, and may have been used to going #2 in a pull-up or something. He is old enough that he may be able to articulate it to you.

I agree about the aggression thing with PP, sounds like typical 3yo boy. The fact that he heeded the warning about knocking over baby is positive. And I had to laugh at the "Watch out baby" for a 3yo to think a 1yo knows what that means. That is actually kind of cute.