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I have been with my soon to be AD for a little over a month. Bio mother was TPR several months ago & father was TPR last month. I was informed by CW last Friday that there is court ordered post TPR final visit for bio mom. It was never done prior to DD being placed with me. The final visit is scheduled this Friday. Plus a sibling & an aunt will be @ the visit. Don't know much about any of them. I don't know what to expect. What questions should I ask prior to the visit? How should I prepare my DD 2.5 yrs, & myself for the visit? Feeling a little apprehensive to say the least...
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Final visits can be heartbreaking regardless of the circumstances
Questions:
Is anyone supervising other than you?
Will be even be present?
Has BM been given a a list of acceptable/unacceptable things to say? If s and you are supervising, you'll need to know what they are
Does she plan on speaking with you directly? ala hand off?
You need to be prepared for questions like" can they send you birthday presents? would you be willing to send pictures? Would it be ok if BGM wants to send you baby pictures?
Would it be ok if you took a picture of your kiddo with their B-family? You may not want it now, but they will definitely be interested one day
As for briefing the baby, thats up to you. I'd personally vote for making it a nonchallant visit. Pre-visit stress used to do tons of damage on DD.
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Thank you wc. I hadn't thought about most of those questions. I'm trying to get my emtions in check so that i can focus on my daughter's needs & be sensitive to bio mom's. It's just that we never met & I'm uncomfortable with our first visit being the goodbye visit. And I don't want to do any long term psychological harm. I have to answer all those questions about what kind of communication we will havel in a hurry. I guess I will start with pics only & see where we from there.