Adopted at/before Birth 1963

I believe that the term you chose to use is not allowed to be used on this forum as it is derogatory to mothers. I cannot understand where your contempt and hatred is coming from. Dickons

You're right and I'm having a hard time finding how I get to use the edit option to change it. But I have no hatred or contempt,it's just a word that I've always used for the female that birthed me.I use Mother,Mom,and Ma for only 1 person...the lady that raised me.Likewise,I have and will never refer to her as "my adoptive Mom",why would I?She's the only Mom I have,as I'm her only son...never has she called me her "adopted son".That bulls*%t is for the legal paperwork. Sorry again.Now maybe if someone can tell me how to edit it,I won't be considered or called full of hatred and contempt,as "Dr.Phil"Dickons has wrongly diagnosed me. Wise *** and sarcastic?Yeah-I'll cop to that.But hatred and contempt?That ain't the way I roll! Peace~~

I'm not 100% sure you can edit something once it has been posted. But I haven't been here all that long myself, so I could be wrong. As to the term you chose..yeah...probably not gonna go over real well here, just saying. As to the original question, I'm not real sure you can conceivably get the info you are looking for without some type of communication with your...gotta go with birthmom, but if you can come up with a better term, I will run with that. I think there isn't any "rule" or law that makes a birthmom give detailed medical history or any kind of genealogy type stuff. Certain agencies are asking for it now, but back in the day they didn't seem to think any of that was important, after all...who knew that cancer, health issues, etc were hereditary. So much as you may be resistant to or not interested in meeting birthmom, that may be the only way you can get that info. In order to do that I guess you start with a name if you have it and go from there. There are others on here that can really help you with that a lot more than I can, but I think you may have to reexamine the way that you ask for help. I will say it so you can understand...Dude, you come across as having a major 'tude. Just saying. :-) Good luck and I hope that you are able to find what you are looking for.

Wow, Babyboycannon, feeling so loved, special, and chosen, as you do, I can see why you wouldn't want to meet the woman who carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you, and then gave you away to such wonderful people , who chose you out of a room full of , what, other babies? Feeling as you do, I am sure you feel no anger, anomosity, or resentment at the woman who did not abort you. Do you? You just want medical information, and to know your bloodlines? Bloodlines is another interesting term you chose, sort of like incubator. Kind of says a lot, to me at least, about how you view yourself, but I'm being judgemental. That judgemental thing happens a lot, and I do mean alot, in adoption. I get how you feel, and you have a right to feel anyway you choose about your first mother. Believe me, I know what it feels like to be angry at her...btdt, and I'm still there at times. I sooo totally understand the denial of our Bps role, or importance, in our lives...btdt, too. I have met mine; have known her now for 25 years, and my first father for 6 years. My first mother is never going to be "Mother of the year", even for the kids she raised, but the truth, the reality, of her role in my life, what she really meant/means to me, whew! Learned that lesson the hard way. I can also see you don't know much about what it was to be a pregnant, unwed, woman in the 60's, not to mention, just exactly, how adoption worked back then. Being as you are a guy, I can understand how it might be a bit difficult to , as they say, put yourself inn her shoes. If she was Native American,on top of that, society's view of her, and you, would not have been a fun one to live with, but I think you can get that one since you yourself noted you were a bastard, butt the bastard thing is only part of what I'm refering to. Over the years I've been on this board, I've seen a good number of adoptees with a tude like yours, come on here searching for info, saying the same things you say, and searching for the same reasons you have given. I've seen a number of those same adoptees have their worlds rocked upon finding what they are looking for. I've seen those tudes change drastically for many of them when they find out the truth about themselves, their BPs, and the truth about adoption. Being as you were born in the 60's, if you are able to get your records opened, and they release to you, your non-identifying information, there will probably not be very much medical information that will be of any use to you. There wasn't for me. As far as the biological information, about half of the information in my file was non existant or incorrect. You see, back int the 60s, they didn't care about our medical information, genetics, or really anything, other than placing us. We were just blank slates, and the baby was just a thing until placed in the arms of it's loving parents. That's when we became human; not the day we were born...the day we were adopted. Had I not had contact with my actual bloodlines, I would not know any more today than I did the day I was born, not really. I would encourage you to show a little more compassion for the incubator, and the sperm donor, a little more respect for the fact that they did creat you, so to speak, if you want the information you seek. Let's face it, if you were them, and read your post, would you tell you anything? I'm glad being adopted has made you feel special and you were chosen, but bloodlines? Come on dude, you kind of make yourself, and the rest of us adoptees sound like puppies at the pet store. If you don't want to get to know your bio fam, that's your choice. No one says you do. They are, however, human beings, good or bad. Have a little respect for yourself, cause the way I see it, you aren't disrespecting them by using those terms. You are disrespecting yourself.

The word incubator for any type of mom is not allowed. Period.Saying the "woman who gave birth to you" is fine, but no name calling.While I understand it angers people to hear some do not see their bmoms as a mom, please remember it's their right to feel that way and we don't need to tell them they are wrong. It's not our place to tell others how to feel or etc.Baby Boy...perhaps if your first message wasn't so hostile, the responses would be different.So to end it, let me just clarify we do not allow derogatory names to be used for any side of the triad.

If you want to access your non-confidential information, you can submit a request through California's official state website. If you know the agency that your adoption was handled through (your parents can assist you in that regard), then you can contact the agency directly instead of going through the state.Please be aware, however, that the medical history of the young woman who gave you your life will only be an early snapshot of her health at the time of your birth. Chances are that a young teenager wouldn't have many health problems at that point in time. If you want to know which diseases to be on the lookout for, you'll most likely need to contact her for an updated medical history.By the way, California wasn't nearly as liberal with regard to young unwed mothers in 1963 as you seem to assume, even in the Bay Area and Sacramento.

First,thank you momraine for editing what I could not, much appreciated. Second,just because I refuse to use the M word for the female that carried me thru pregnancy and gave me up for adoption,does not mean that I have a major attitude problem,as has been my diagnosis here. So in order to clarify,I guess I will have to state things that I would think most would understand without my needing to do so. I only use Mom and Dad for the parents that raised me, I have never called them my adoptive parents or considered them any less than my "real parents". When I was little I tried to use my being adopted against them by saying,"You're not my real Mom and Dad,you can't tell me what to do".Looking back when a bit older, all I got out of that was seeing how much it hurt them.Friends and others upon hearing I'm adopted ask,"you know your real parents?" I point toward their house and say, "Yup,they're right there".For to me,they are my real Mom and Dad,as I know I am their real son.Never have they used the term or considered me their adopted son. To continue,my not using biological/birth "mom" in regards to the lady/girl/female that gave birth to me,does not mean that I have hatred toward her,as some of you have also diagnosed me with.I don't know her exact reasons or circumstances that caused her to decide adoption/give me away.I do know that it must have been an emotional thing for her in whatever her case,and that hopefully she knew it was the best for me,and maybe herself.Unselfish fits.Along with other characteristics,one being love. Of this I am extremely grateful for her sacrifice.Like I said,I'm not sure of her reasons...but the results on my end make me thankful.I'm sure she might regret it at times,maybe not. I would hope to think that she knows I am thankful.If I had the chance to tell her,I most definitely would, without question.In person or not?Yeah,sure,if she were up to it,I'd do that.But I'm not wanting to make that seem like I'm opening some kind of door for her to think she might get anything back that she gave away. I am interested in seeing a resemblance,where I got my good looks from!Be it in person,or just a photo. All that being said....yes,I owe her my life,in that she carried me and gave birth to me.After that,my life was in the hands of my parents who raised me...period.I have no problem giving her my thanks.I do have a problem in anything more than that.I don't think there's anything I could do to change her life after all this time other than my offering my heartfelt sincerest thanks.To give her the illusion that I'm willing to open my life up to her as to heal her,well,I'm sorry...that's not gonna happen.To want to open up to her as just a friend?Again...sorry,I already have plenty of friends that I don't see enough,call enough,or spend time with enough.I'm not wanting to add to that list. So if you're going to label that and me as hateful,contemptable,and disrespectful....that's your choice.But to state it here to me isn't going to make me change my mind,or think differently about myself...I'm not wishy-washy or so easily influenced.What it will do is keep me from looking for the things I came here for in the first place.Info to find possible medical issues and any geneological stuff. Again,sorry for earlier offenses,surely not my intention.I hope this helps in re-establishing myself as a semi-normal human.Thank you for your understanding....peace! And as far as a name goes,all I have to work with is Cannon,I assume it was hers.