Jewish Adoption Help

I don't know that I have a ton of specific advice for you - my situation is a bit different - but I did want to just reach out to you. I'm a single Reform Jewish woman; I adopted my son, who is African American, last May. Different larger cultures, different Jewish cultures, but still some similarities. I was a little bit worried about what his experience would be like when I first considered adopting transracially. I live in a town that is, while more diverse than much of the surrounding area, still majority Caucasian. The Jewish community is also quite small. My Jewish community has been amazingly supportive. My son is the darling of my synagogue (he's the only really little one that attends services regularly, and he's very engaging, so it's not surprising). We do have a couple of other transracial families in the Jewish community, but not many. I know there will be challenges in parenting C, but acceptance in the Jewish community here is certainly not one of them.I'm working hard to make sure I have relationships with adults and kids who are AA or biracial so that C has people in his life of his race. I am also working hard to make sure that I have some anticipation of what he may face growing up and the skills to help him through. I'm learning as much as I can while he is young, as I did while I was preparing. I didn't decide to adopt transracially until I did believe that I was prepared and ready to continue preparing, and I also made sure that my family and community were supportive. There's nothing wrong with not being comfortable adopting transracially; it doesn't mean you are racist or anything of the sort. It just means that you know what you can handle and whether you are the best option for any given child. If you decide that is not the best option for you, I would talk with the social worker about your reasoning - your belief in your ability to parent a child of a different race, your perception of how your community would accept a child of a different race, etc. If you do want to look further at transracial adoption, I would suggest learning all you can about it, talking with the people in your life who are important to you (not just your husband, but others as well), and talking more with the social worker.Like I said, I don't know how much I can be of help to you, but I do at least want to reach out. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. And good luck with your process.

Thank you so much Ruth :)

No problem. I had forgotten this resource, but I thought I'd pass along the website for Be'chol Lashon as well. Their focus isn't specifically adoption, but rather the diversity within Judaism worldwide. [url=http://bechollashon.org/]Be'chol Lashon | Advocating for the Growth and Diversity of the Jewish People | Home[/url]

No advice, but I can see his point. I lived for several years in a Jewish community that I did not resemble physically (I'm fair skinned/light haired and they were all of Moroccan descent) and people drove me nuts assuming that because I didn't look like them I was somehow ignorant of even the most basic stuff. I guess my only advice is just raise the child to have a sense of humor about it.

There are also several Jewish orphanages in Israel which pair Jewish orphans with parents.

Do you know how to find information on this? Or if you have information, could you pm me?

Hi Ruth,GIOH is actually an orphanage (I have found their Web site), so I am sure they know about orphanages much more than I do.That said:Many hopeful adoptive parents already living here in Israel will not live long enough to be matched with a child. That's why so many of them choose international adoption. Potential adoptive parents from overseas wishing to adopt from Israel are placed at the very end of the long queue, after the resident families. Again, there are many more waiting Israeli parents than waiting children.I am pasting a few snippets from [URL="http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=israel"]ISRAEL | Intercountry Adoption[/URL] to show how difficult it is for non-resident families to adopt from Israel. The bold marks are mine:"In addition to these U.S. requirements for prospective adoptive parents, Israel also has the following requirements for prospective adoptive parents:[LIST][*] RESIDENCY REQUIREMENTS: Adoptive parents must stay in Israel for the duration of the adoption process. In order to adopt a baby up to age 2, the parents must be Israeli citizens. Non-Israeli citizens can only adopt a baby or a child with special needs for whom no adoptive parents could be found in Israel. Preference will be given to adoptive parents of the same religion or ethnic origin as the child.[/LIST][LIST][*] AGE REQUIREMENTS: The age difference between either of the parents and the child may not be greater than 43 years.[/LIST][LIST][*] MARRIAGE REQUIREMENTS: Partners whose cohabitation is not recognized by the government as a legal marriage or single parents can only adopt children with special needs.[/LIST][LIST][*] INCOME REQUIREMENTS: The adopting parents' financial situation must be strong enough to allow adequate support of the child. Prospective adoptive parents must also submit salary slips to prove financial stability. The adoption officer will verify the information by interviewing the adoptive parents and conducting a home visit. See "Documents Required" below.[/LIST][LIST][*] OTHER REQUIREMENTS: All prospective adoptive parents must undergo a psychological test conducted by a psychologist as well as a social worker. The prospective adopting parents must also be judged in good physical health. Please see both "section a" of "Adoption Procedures" and "section e" of "Documents Required" below, as prospective adoptive parents must undergo a physical examination and submit a medical report."[/LIST]"Because Israel is party to the Hague Adoption Convention, children from Israel must meet the requirements of the Convention in order to be eligible for adoption. For example, the Convention requires that Israel attempt to place a child with a family in Israel before determining that a child is eligible for intercountry adoption. In addition to Israeli requirements, a child must meet the definition of a Convention adoptee for you to bring him or her back to the United States."

Thanks goodvibesI'm actually not asking for myself, but for friends who live in Israel who have been attempting (unsuccessfully) to adopt for quite some time. I was hoping to be able to pass along something helpful.

Oh, I see. Have your friends considered international adoption? Best of luck to them.