Illinois OBC - no "reunion" wanted - questions

As far as i'm aware, they are not notified when you request your birth certificate. If they have heard of the law change, they can request their identifying info be removed from the birth certificate during their lifetime by filling out a birth parent preference form. If they do this before your obc is to be mailed to you, they'll include the birth parent preference form with your obc. If you request your obc and it reaches you first, they will forward a copy of the birth parent preference form to you so you'll know your birth parents' wishes. They can also state on the form whether they wish to have contact or not or deny the release of any identifying information provided you have requested your obc or registered with IARIE.I'm sure there are many adoptees that feel content like you do not knowing their biological origins. I used to feel the same way you did until I heard about the law change and started to discover more information about my birth parents. Be prepared that these are REAL people. You may find you care more than you thought you ever did. I was very surprised by the depth of my feelings when i started my own research and I still don't know for sure who they are yet. I don't know any other way to get medical info besides at least having a confidential intermediary contact them unless they've registered with the IARMIE. There is all kinds of info on the Illinois department of public health website regarding your different options.

No they are not notified if you request your OBC. I think you may find it a bit harder to get your medical history from obits. Most likely you will only get your mothers name on your OBC and so you will have no way to connect "Brenda Johnson" in an obit to your "Brenda Johnson" without knowing more family members. You may or may not find a family tree on ancestry with your "Brenda Johnson" based on age and have a fair certainty that it is the one you want and go from there. "example name" I would suggest you apply and once you get it take the time to see if that works for you - you may get lucky with a really uncommon name. If after you receive it and still have absolutely no feelings (same as how you feel now) then perhaps you need to make peace with never knowing your family health history or taking the plunge and contacting them. If you do contact them I would hope they would provide you the info you want. They may want nothing to do with you or have been praying they will get to meet you and know you are okay. If you do contact just be as honest and kind as possible. Good luck,Dickons

I agree with Dickons. It is going to be very difficult to gather a medical history from obits. Probably your best bet is to go through a confidential intermediary who can hopefully get the medical history from your b-mom. (The intermediary would also have to get your mom to name your b-father in order to obtain his family's history.) The intermediary could make it clear that you are just looking for medical history, so there would be no confusion. Good luck.

I would suggest you first get your birth certificate. Then consider using the Illinois intermediary system. Best of luck!

Well, I'm going to take a slightly different stance here. I totally agree with getting the birth certificate. I can confirm they don't notify your birth parents, because once I received mine and chose to contact my birth mother, I asked her if she had been notified that I requested it, and she said no. She knew about the law change, however. Where I differ is regarding the confidential intermediary program. I guess if you've got the money, go for it, but be prepared for some roadblocks. They're set up to make money, not help you. An alternative would be checking into not for profit organizations (White Oak Foundation is one) that do similar work. I think it's a bit absurd that the CI program still charges you the full amount, even when you don't have to petition the courts to open your file because you've already located the person you seek and you just want a middle person. I see no reason to pay hundreds of dollars for them to send a letter on your behalf.

I was not born or adopted in Illinois, but in my situation, I went to the agency that handled my adoption and got a bunch of medical information when I was about 19 (I am 41 now). They couldn't give me identifying information so that was redacted, but I got the medical histories of my parents, their siblings, my grandparents, and my great-grandparents. Although I have since reunited with both my bmother and bfather, it gave me such a feeling of peace finally knowing even that little bit of information. I will say, however, that it turned on the switch to get more information and make contact. I didn't know that I truly wanted that, until I knew more. I no longer have a relationship with my bmother, but my bfather and I have a good one. Even though my outcome wasn't ideal, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. Knowing something is way better than knowing nothing and I have gotten the chance to discover a lot more about myself through this whole process as well. Good luck to you!

I'm searching for a nephew who was born in Ill. If he wants no contact, that will be fine. But to know he is alive and well would e wonderful. There are serious medicl issues in the family and would like to see how he is doing and to share medical info with him. So do your search and maybe have a lawyer or friend do the contact. Good luck

Even if your mother had gotten medical information when you were placed, it would be older than you are! A lot has happened during your lifetime. I know I gave medical information to the agency when I surrendered. Since then, my father and sister developed diabetes; my mother died of lung cancer; my brother died of heart disease; I have allergies that I didn't then; 4 of my 7 biological grandchildren have non-functioning thyroids. That's a lot of important information to have. My suggestion is to get the OBC, then contact your birthmother -- or have someone from the agency, if there was one involved -- and ask for medical updates. Then, you have her name, and perhaps a sense if she wants contact at some point. You may change your mind.

First and foremost, I wish you luck on your endeavor. Having your own personal health history is nothing more than a basic human right. But I do want to "poke the bear" a bit and ask why you are so adamant about your adoptive family being your ONLY family? Do we now all have it in our hearts to love many others. If someday you choose to marry (if you already aren't) will you still only consider your adoptive family your ONLY family. Won't your spouses family be invited into your heart? Your children? Families are forever expanding, changing and unfortunately due to loss, shrinking. The lack of feeling "something is missing" may be the lack of feeling that you could possibly love more than one family. We should all continue to open our hearts as we walk down the path of life. We may meet someone that can impact our hearts like no others. Good luck in your search for answers.

OP- those other adoptees are who do not want to search are living life and don't feel the need to go to adoption websites, lol. Of course you will find folks here that DO want to search or are exploring their options- like you are- simply because they googled and found a website that they could look into doing it. I did not look for a replacement family or a new mommy/daddy when I searched. I did want answers about myself and was certainly open to a relationship. I got that from my birthmom and maternal family but not from my birthfather. Now, 18 yrs later when I need more medical history from his side, I wish I had asked more when I spoke to him the one and only time. My husband is also adopted and wanted medical information when he searched. He was very close to his adoptive parents- they helped him every step of the way. When they found his birthmom- he and his adoptive and birth families found an extension to their families. His birthmom would never be the Mommy- but she was welcomed by his adoptive parents and the amount of mutual gratitude, affection and togetherness with them all has always been stunning for me. My adoptive family was in no way open to my search. I would say keep an open mind- you really can't get updated medical information without going to the source. Consider how important medical information can be to your children in the future as well. When we all were adopted - medical histories were not considered important at all- and there were certainly reasons why a birthparent -or social worker- may not have included all family medical history in a record-ie it may have lessened the desirablilty of the adoptee to prospective adoptive parents. Be honest about your intentions- respectful of their feelings, but make sure that you are clear and concise with what you hope to gain by contact. You may open emotions in yourself that you never thought you would feel. You are not looking for a replacement or 'true' family; but the simple fact remains that you have two families- adoptive and biological. What you do with the information is up to you. Good luck!