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hi im new here but have been dealing with a great pain of a adoption. im hear for support and maybe some answers. when i was 16 i had a little boy i took care of him till he was three at this point i had drug problem and a mental disorder i asked my mom if she would help me get clean and get better. she said she would but after a little she told me we had to do an adoption i spoke to a person on the phone for 10 min , i was not throughly told what it really was i trusted my mom when she said when i was better i could have my son. she also gave me 100 dollars after the adoption i was confused and not in my right mind to sign anything and she knew it. ive been sober for 4 years now and have been mentally stable for 3 years now. so i can see my son when they decide its ok i cant take him anywhere and he is supposed to know im his mom but doesnt. this was not supposed to be the adoption stipulation he was even supposed to come over to my place every once in awhile . im just finishing cosmetology school and about to be making 50,000 a year. i feel like she lied to e the adoption was on wrong terms and i feel swindled into it and almost paid off to be ok with it my plan was to have him when i was better we had agreed on it . now she says she never said that . i miss my little boy soo much and want to be his mommmy for him i couldnt even imagine living any longer without him . im just in so much pain and feel so betrayed there is a hole in my heart and my family is tearing part. please help me even kind worrds but if anyone has anything that my help me that would be amazing to.
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Congratulations on getting clean. That's a huge battle right there. I wish I could help you, but I'm afraid there aren't easy answers. You can't go back and change what happened so you have to figure out a way to go forward. You'll find this is a great place to listen and help when we can.
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It sounds like your son is approximately 4 years old now. It's not fair that things weren't explained to you fully and I don't think giving you money was a good idea but that's just an opinion.
There must be a copy of the adoption agreement on file if there was an agency involved. Contact the agency and get the information. If it states it's an open adoption then you would already know who the birthparents are; if it's not you can write a letter to the agency and they will hold it or forward it through.
Just because your son is adopted doesn't mean he won't come looking some day. If you reach a dead end now don't lose hope; look after yourself and start a journal so he can read what you went through when he is ready to do so.
The thing is if he is only four he is not going to understand what's going on if you tell him your his "mommy". It will confuse him. I am sure that when he is older he will understand more.