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Long story short. We had a foster child since he was a new born. He was will us til he was 8 months old then went to live with his bio Dad's Aunt. He is now almost 11 months old (so less than 3 months have passed) and his Bio Dad's Aunt that he is with is considering having baby AJ removed but only if he will come back to us. Question is: Has anyone been in a similar situation either the child going to a kinship placement or another foster home but you wanted them to stay with you? How did it work out? Anything we should keep in mind? Any advice?
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I haven't personally experienced this, but I've read other peoples stories on this forum of this happening to them. So I don't think it's unusual! How did you find out the bio aunt potentially wanting to place back with you? Did your SW tell you? If you heard from the aunt, can she contact the child's CM and let him/her know? And you can contact your SW and let them know you want to be placed with the child. From the SW's perspective, it's better for the child to go back to someone who their familiar with, so it should be great for the child to go back to you! Take care of your heart, though. These situations can be tricky. I sure would hate for the aunt to toy with you... give the child to you, take him back again, etc. But maybe you are willing to risk that since you love the baby? That's what happens! We love so we risk. I've sure been there. Good luck with everything! I hope you get him back!
Do you know why the aunt might disrupt? we just got a new placement and in the back of my mind I wonder if baby A will have to be moved again. We would take her back but we would need a new vehicle and right now we are enjoying our freedom of no car payments.Good luck with your decision! Keep us posted!
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My first thought would be WHY aunt doesn't want the child placed with her anymore. If she is "backing out" of the deal she made with the CW when she took the child in, then she is likely to not be considered to take him back in the future. I would then want to ask if there is any other family who will or has stepped forward to take him. These are all questions for which the answers might tell you whether or not the case will go back into kinship placment or RU. OH, and I would take him back in a heartbeat....but still would ask a bunch of questions. :)
Be prepared that he can be sent somewhere else or back to the aunt again if she changes her mind again. I was told twice that I would be able to adopt with adoption paperwork in hand. When I got my fs back I was told he would not be moved again even though relatives came out of no where that he never met after I was mom for a long time. In some states there is no one year limit that you superseed relatives. It's harder the second time around...
My FS (19 years old) was moved last year by the agency because he was arrested. He had been with us for over 2 years. He went through 2 homes in 6 months and the agency called us to take him for respite-a week max. We didnt want him to leave in the first place. He has been back 3 months and has been doing really well. Go for it.
TO answer some back up questions: Well the Aunt didn't want to take him in the first place but she felt pressured by family and wanted to try and keep him with family. She is of retirement age and was preparing to travel and live her life. Baby AJ being born premature and drug exposed at birth leaves him having lots of appointments for preventative care and to be checked out by specialist. He is on target for everything and doing well but for a single woman keeping up with his appointments is a lot for her. She has used up significant PTO time and is starting to tap into her vacation time for his appointments and visits. She wants to travel and live HER life. Also he really isn't attaching to her and he is set on the routine that my wife and I had for him which she can't duplicate as a single parent home with different time and home layout to consider. There is absolutely NO other family that could step forward for him. Also before he even was placed with her we were asked if for some reason he had to be moved from her would we take him. We said "YES" then and yes now. Also while at a mandatory training she asked my wife and I if we would take him back. She would only disrupt if he were going back to us because he does so well with us. That same day we got to hold him and he lit up and grabbed us and even the bios saw and bio Dad admitted that he hasn't been as playful since he left our home and he thinks baby AJ misses us.
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My FS was 9 mos. when he went home and 11 mos. when he came back. As far as he goes and with the short time he was away, I don't think we skipped a beat melding him back into our household. He was so relieved to be back. Even bios said he seemed so much happier. That said the case this time around has been much harder on us. I doubt it would be the same for you, since there are extreme extenuating circumstances for us.If AJ comes back my best recommendation is to live like he was never gone. Expect a little uncertainty and separation anxiety for awhile too.