hurting himself

I wonder if this behavior is something he has witnessed? So very sad for him that he feels like this! Keep talking to him and showing him that he is important. Good luck!

Has he actuall dine any self harming? I would be making astink to get him into therapy and bark up the chain if cw doesn't get it done quickly.But I wouldn't make a big deal in front of the child. That will just reinforce the idea that he will get attention from it. I would find positive things to cheer him on about- thanks so much for throwing away your napkin! Great job brushing your teeth. High five for putting away your toys. Find other ways to notice him and the self harming behaviors may die down.He also might really need intervention. If you don't think he is safe or he has a plan to hurt himself - I'm going to take scissors and stab myself... Then I would take him to a mental health facility or emergency room for assessment. My 8 year old had to be hospitalized in December for talk of suicide. She told the psychiatrist during and ADHD med check appointment and we were sent immediately for evaluation. The docs felt she was borderline of needing to be inpatient. We made the decision to hospitalize to be on the safe side but also to show her we were serious about doing whatever it took to keep her safe. It was a rough 10 days and leaving her there was one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever had to do but she got the help she needed.

So he had his first appointment with a counselor yesterday. When the social worker dropped him off at home she said she doesn't think he needs counseling...he's just being a boy..and she doesn't see any of the behaviors that we are talking about. She sees him for an hour a week...of course she wouldn't see it! I just emailed her once again because today in day care he punched himself in the face so hard he gave himself a bloody nose.

The fact that he told you he is feeling that way is a great sign that he trusts you... I would let him talk about it, in a non judgemental/matter of fact way. I think we ALL feel that "anger" sometimes, and some lash out at others, some internalize, and some self inflict. None of them are healthy ways to react. Sounds like he has been let down by bio family more than once, and may be blaming himself, thinking he did something wrong to get "sent away". His self esteem is probably battered. I hope counseling will help, but since he is open with you, I think you may be his primary support. Tell him Its OK to be angry and feel like you need to "release" it to feel better, but there are healthy ways. Physical excercise is a great outlet, punching a punching bag/pillow, etc. After the physical outlet, is a great time to talk............ if he wants to. Hope the little guy gets some relief from those feelings.... Im sure it is hard on both of you! Edited to add- He may have NO IDEA why he feels this way... so asking why may not help. ALso, as others have said, if he is dangerous to himself- seek help immediately!

My stepdaughter used to say that when she wanted attention and when she didn't get her way. However, it might not be the case for your foster son. What triggers the statement? Does something happen before he says he wants to hurt himself? You should be able to get him free counseling through your local mental health or children's service center. I suggest to start early on this. Good luck.

My guess is he's wanting to know if you really care about him, since his grandma didn't. How sad is that? :( From the sounds of it, she probably told him he'd be better of dead. :( Glad she gave him up and he is with you. Hope he can start learning to know what love is and a "normal family" acts like.

I would push him going to counseling. It must be very hard on the little guy with all the changes he has been going thrum but he not know how to deal with the feelings that he is having. Some kids rage on the outside and direct it towards others but some just direct those feelings towards themselves so they don't risk regection by others. I know I have been so mad and frustrated I just wanted to yell, punch or throw something but I have coping skills to work those feelings out the right way. Try giving him a quite space to calm down then talk about his feelings once he is calm. I had a nephew that was like this. We would talk about feelings and how to express them all the time no just during an incident. If we were watching Tv or reading a book and someone was mad, sad or upset we would go over ways to talk about it or handle those feelings like draw a picture, read a book, punch a pillow, go outside and yell or run around. He was the same age as your little guy and his father just passed away and he was an upset guy. It took a lot of time but he did start to regulate himself better but it took a few months to get there