New TLC show "Birth Moms"

You know I think about that a lot. Mtv does a show called true life and I think it could be a great episode. True life; I have placed a child for adoption. Then I think about it and I would never be able to do a show like that because I am too private about things like this. Heck Jillie isn't even my real name but rather the one I use in adoption circles as kind of a protective shield. If I am not brave enough to do that why would other women that are of similar backgrounds want to do it either. While we work on maintaining a healthy relationship with aparents I feel like one of the last thing I would want to do is expose this special relationship with the world that won't get it. Not to mention make my child a public figure over something he had no choice in. Adoption is how he entered his life with his parents but it doesn't need to be his life story and everything about him. He deserves better. Then you get ghetto trash like smokey mcdrinky on thi show that doesn't care how the world views her because she has lost so much respect for herself that she no longer cares. I would imagine that's the only way you would ever go on tv on a show about adoption showing off that you need liquor while you attempt to poison a child you don't know yet. Outraged? I am barely surprised. Tlc is the network that brought the toilet baby into everyday life and conversation. They are also responsible for child beauty pagents being a thing of common place. They also gave us that hot mess Jon & Kate.

I thought the show was pretty good actually. I think the promos we are bit outrageous. Of course there was 'drama'...but overall I think it presented the very difficult situation of the three young women and also the feelings of the adoptive parents.

I thought it was well done too, even though Kandace, the one who drank & was a prostitute was kind of trashy & a negative stereotype of a birthmother. I was shocked that in this day & age she wanted Brett & Liz, the parents, to not tell their son he was adopted. I thought Lindsey & Taylor were pretty likable & it was interesting to see all their feelings & what they went through, since we never met our daughter's birthmother. We talked with her on the phone & we loved her so much but after she gave birth she decided she wanted a closed adoption & signed the papers before we even got there. We were told to wait till after she was discharged to come to the hospital. I also thought it was interesting to see the process of looking at the profiles & trying to choose a family, & the couples they chose seemed nice.

I looked in the TV Guide to find out when this was on & noticed the other shows on TLC tonight were "Obese & Expecting" & "Half-Ton Moms."

SHAME SHAME SHAME on TLC ....how are these women going to feel 10 years from now when the world remembers them for this show? How will their children that were placed for adoption feel when they are old enough and see it? Once again, noone thinking about the kids that had no choice in making this decision. Complete and utter EXPLOITATION of the weak. These are young troubled women that at probably one of the lowest points in their lives that I'm sure jumped at the chance to be "someone" and appear on national television., a decision that I have no doubt they will tregret one day.

I dont want to bash the women that were exploited...they all obviously have issues and possibly mental illness. I do however blame the network for making money off of their sad situations

I just watched it. If anyone gets off on watching very vulnerable women that are in the most depressing of situations...at the lowest points in their lives...battling addictions, possible mental illnesses, insecurities, and feeling forced to give away their child because they know that they cannot care for it themselves, exploited by a money grubbing adoption agency and low life network then this is the show for you

I hate how television churns out these reality TV shows. I think it really cheapens the entertainment industry and makes voyeurs out of us all. I do confess, however, that I watch 16 and Pregnant, as well as Teen Mom. I watch those shows mainly to keep in touch with what's happening these days to teen moms and their babies, as well as finding out what they're up against. But I also feel a bit yucky about it. I like watching the Duggar family on 19 Kids and Counting, but that's mainly because I'm fascinated with the peaceful, joyful atmosphere within their householdit appeals to me because they're onto something spirituality-wise, and I think I've learned some important things from them. I love their family website...it has a lot of tips and suggestions for home-schooling for example, as well as tips on discipline, etc. Most of the reality shows, though, I don't watch. If that's all there's on the tube, I go read a book instead. I try to be careful with what input goes into my brain because I think it's important to fill oneself with the positive, loving things in life. Anyhoo, that's my two cents on the subject...

Thank you TLC! You have finally done what I didn't think was possible. You have made something that is hard enough alone and made the stereotype even stronger. I feel like it's an uphill battle being a birthmom and trying to show the world that am more than an alcoholic smoker that never cared for my child. Yes I know there were two other stories that were very real and much better but sadly no one will remember those when faced with a young woman who obviously has a very troubled life and exploited it for shock and ratings. At the very least it's tasteless. At it's worst it's propaganda and a form of elite thinking that birthmother's are these sad pathetic women and their children must be rescued from a life of addiction and poverty. Yes there were other stories but people outside of adoption won't remember them. They will remember Kandice smoking, shoplifting and drinking. I wish I could believe that people would see the whole thing but I already know they won't. I watch everything on my computer one because it uses less electricity than a tv and two I don't have to pay for cable because I have internet anyways. I found this while looking for a link to watch it. [url=http://community.babycenter.com/post/a33450109/is_anybody_watching_birth_moms_on_tlc]is anybody watching birth moms on TLC? - November 2012 Birth Club - BabyCenter[/url]It just basically shows what people outside of adoption think of it. The poor aparents the poor agency being abused like this. Everything but seeing the real pictures. The real pain of forever being separated. Yes I have an open adoption and a good relationship... It really doesn't help much. I should have parented. I should have never let my ex and the agency get into my head. My life would be very different. I wouldn't be finishing my master's but I would have been okay. I am not Kandice. Today I found out that I won't be able to see my son for his first birthday. I knew I wouldn't be able to go to his birthday party but I was okay with just the idea of spending some part of his day with him. I found out that the program I am working on for school isn't going to let me go out of town. I either have to quit the program or miss his birthday. Neither is a choice I feel okay about. I set up two house cleaning jobs for this weekend so while I am getting my master's I am spending my day scrubbing people's home toilets to pay for a flight that I won't get to take. Sure I could just not do it but then what. These are friends of me who have hired me so I could book a flight home to see my kid. So instead with this life as a birthmom I sit here in bed feeling about as stupid as can be for believing that this whole life as a birthmother is a good thing. That little man is better off without me. So I cry here in bed clutching my childhood stuffed animal wearing little man's cap from the hospital. The media doesn't care about that. People saw this mess and will continue to think we are all Kandice and not realize how much this sucks. So thank you TLC. You have made me give up on caring about how the world views birthmom's. I apologize if I am not supposed to post links to other forums. I will be honest and admit that I have never actually read the rules. I am lazy and never read rules. So daisy cow will just be here and the world will believe this smut and nothing will change.

((((( Jillie )))))Did you send TLC the letter you just posted on this thread? If not, please do so....because you've brought up some very good, valid points. I really wish TV shows wouldn't perpetuate the trashy stereotypes of birthmoms...but they're in it for the ratings, and many people seem to love feeling superior to us.Jill, I can't begin to express my sorrow that you won't be able to spend part of the day with your son on his first birthday. I'm so very sorry, sweetie. :loveyou:

Well said Jillie.

Hugs, Jillie! Maybe the reason they didn't have anyone like you on the show is because those birthmoms are too smart to want to be on a "reality" TV show. I never watch shows like this, I was just interested in this one because it was about birthmoms. I totally agree with you about Kandace.

I watched the program last night, and I wasn't impressed. First off, I did not like the title...they are expectant moms. There just seemed to be too much coercion in telling the girls they are doing the right thing. There was no expectant dad involvement. They portrayed the expecting moms as so negative...not an accurate reflection of expecting moms at all. Not all drink, smoke, steal, etc. One thing one of the moms did besides the drinking that really annoyed me was asking the hopeful adoptive family to never divulge that he is adopted. The couple didn't respond, but if they planned to keep it a secret...that's wrong. I also didn't like how the emom was so negative towards the profiles...I mean, she didn't have to pick them. I realize it was a difficult decision and she was young, but I'd be hurt if my profile were in that pile. When Taylor was waivering, she should have been offered support. The only reason she placed is because of financial reasons...that's not right. She wanted to parent her son. I just can't imagine putting their entire stories on TV for all the world to see. We are private people. We were asked to be interviewed for a book on Adoption a few years back with some of our kiddos' parents, and I turned it down. My children, nor do their parents, need to be in the spotlight. We have wonderful relationships, and that is more important.

I don't watch anything adoption related. It gets my blood pressure up and I don't need to deal with that. I get mad for first parents and for adopted people both. The way to get rid of this crap? Write letters to the advertisers on the shows. That is the only way that it will happen. We'd have to organize in a huge way, but you have to hit people in their pocketbook. They don't care how they make the rest of us look as long as they make a buck. Money drives the world folks and as long as it is sensational people will watch and advertisers know that.As for showing the world that first parents aren't trashy, alcoholic, drug users, I am open about Kiddo. I don't hide him, I don't hide who I am to him. That is the only way people learn.

Jillie I am sorry the program upset you. I agree that 'some people' will only focus on the Kandice story...but honestly I felt most of the show was about Taylor and I thought hers was a very real and heart-wrenching story. Maybe because I am an adoptive parent and have a really awesome birthmother that I don't give a lot of thought to the girl who was drinking, smoking, stealing. It was very good for me to see Taylor's experience. I had the benefit of knowing our birthmother for about 6 weeks prior to Baby Girl being born and I am glad I got to know her. But I never saw any of that side, the struggle...I think she always put on a good face for me! When I interact with our Bmom from now on I am just going to think about Taylor and how difficult this was for her. I actually think me watching this show will actually make our relationship better...because now that I have actually 'seen' someone go through it...it's more real to me. (don't get me wrong TLC is a piece of work and their shows can be HORRIBLE and exploitive...but I have to say that "I" personally took something good away from this show)