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So we recently adopted a sibling group of 3. The youngest 2 are very young and they don't seem to remember much or anything at all. The oldest however does. She is almost 5. We are really struggling with the contact issue with Bio family. Our state is a closed adoption so we have no legal obligations to keep in contact. On one hand we can't deny they have a birth family. On the other hand...they made the choice not to do what they needed to get their kids back.(She has still not accomplished any of her goals...) Personally I have contact with the mom and great grandma and keep them updated. I won't get to much into their family history but let's just say this is not the first case of grand-kids and great grand-kids being taken away...So something is/was SERIOUSLY dysfunctional within the family!
Ok so comes the issue of why would we want an unstable woman have contact with our oldest child? Dad is out of the picture totally. Mom is always saying it wasn't her fault etc.. BLAME BLAME BLAME never taking ownership of her choices I would say this bothers me most! As we want our kids to take on the responsibility and consequences of their actions. Anyway should we completely cut of contact with Bio Family would that hurt the oldest in the long run? As I said the 2 little ones don't care one stitch! I need input! I must say we don't ever belittle mom but we don't make her out to be a saint either. We tell our little girl that she(mom) was the adult and she made the choices...Not you(our little girl). When she gets sad we pray for them. Thanks!
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