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I am having a very dark day/week. I have even considered just leaving. I know my DD only has 2 more years here but it feels like a life sentence. Even if I move my husband would still have to have me come watch her because he works 24 hour shifts on and off. I am just trapped and so tired of the emotional abuse.
My friend told me today she nevver could understand why so many children go unadopted evvery year. Now she knows why as she has adopted through foster care too. I am ruining my health, my marriage and my family well rather she is. I just keep telling myself this too shall pass yeah in 2 years.
Everything shall pass, you are right. That is certain. Hold on to anything you can hold on to. You don't deserve abuse. Women are abused by their partners, and the message is clear 'you have to get out'. But parents are told 'you HAVE to put up with it'
Do you have any therapy or counselling yourself?
You are in my thoughts
(((hugs))
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I have no advice. I just wanted to say that I am sorry you feel this way. I hope you can find some way to make it through! Two years must seem like an eternity!
I really thought we had moved an inch, a half inch something. But here she is stealing again and then wrote a four page letter to my estranged son all about how awful I am.
I will admit I've not been in your place, but I know the grief our children can put on us. I'm sorry for the struggle you're having, and I'll keep you in my prayers
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I am so sorry for what you are going thru. Hang on like your life depends on it. I am only looking at an open ended placement that has not been that long. Try to reach out to your husband and realize you are both in crisis. Although I have not lived your life or been with our FD nearly as long as you have, I am grasping for any previous normalcy in my life at this point and in the few moments we have together, I am fighting to connect with my husband more than ever and everytime I do, it creates more jealousy from our FD but I don't care. I try to remember when we were really in love and hold onto that feeling and block out the rest of it for just a minute or two and I hope it is working because I feel he is on the verge of a breakdown. Please take care of yourself first, above and beyond everything else and remember what you used to have before this life.
Sass,
You know I have been in your shoes and literally was counting down the days/years before we wouldn't have to deal with the behaviors/endangerment again. I know putting myself into counseling helped greatly. It didn't make the time pass any more quickly; but it gave me someone to vent to and realize *I* couldn't fix anyone who didn't want to be fixed.
Now, it's society who has to deal with the dangers and other behaviors the child has. Suffice to say though, our entire family truly tried...
And in the end, you'll know YOU tried too. Little comfort for now; but find a good counselor and hang on.
Most Sincerely,
Linny
She is going to a week long camp in a week and I cant WAIT. We are letting her do community theatre which means she will have rehearsal ever night. I cant WAIT. The mental health services here suck. There are times if I cancel my kids appointments I can't get in for another month!
I just get mad and lose my temper but this time I said some things I shouldn't have and she will tell her case manager and then I will get chastised. I guess I feel if I was a better mom I wouldn't lose it and say those things and she would be better.
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Even great moms have bad days. And the mental health stuff makes fo r very bad days sometimes. (((Sass)))
I have never wanted to leave. I mental literallly walk out the door and leave. I just really think it's never going to change and bio mom is just waiting in the wings until she turns 18. I think I am going to go to therapy again. Even if I just get in once a month it will help.
I hear your pain! We have a 14 year old with RAD and FASD and sexual abuse history (which means extreme sexual behavior). I am so ready to send him to an out-of-home placement which is a very real possibility, but not until September. I hope things are going better for you at this point. You are not the cause of the problem - you are an awesome Mom for working so hard all this time. We all make mistakes. I told my son ONCE when he was much younger that I hated him. Do you know how many times he has told me he hates me? I could not even count, but he still mentions what I said years ago. There is no rhyme or reason sometimes to these kids. Hang in there and rest up while she goes to camp!
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