ISO birth mother, male born 1-19-1965 in Rockford, IL

I just found out that my birth mothers last name is Spielman. Getting closer to finding out who she is. No first name yet but hopefully when I get my uncorrected birth certificate it will have that info.

I received my uncorrected birth certificate and have found my birth mother and other family members. I have not contacted them but I now have the information I have been seeking for most of my life. Very thankful and pleased that Illinois allowed me to do this finally. :banana:

congrats and best wishes...enjoy :cheer:

So, have you contacted them yet?? Please let us know. Good luck.

Well I finally did call my mom and that did not go well at all. I purposely waited about a year before I called her. The reason was that I honestly wanted to hold on to my fantasy that I would be received with open arms. I knew there was a very good chance that wouldn't happen. After she denied it over and over I must have finally given her enough factual info because she finally did admit to it. I begged for the name of my father but she would not give it to me. He was married when she got pregnant with me so I guess protecting him is more important. By then I was in tears. I was and still am both hurt and angry. Now I am trying to plan my next move. I have done an extensive family tree via the Ancestry site so there are plenty of other relatives I could contact including some of my cousins who still live in the area. But I also understand that I am a huge mistake and probably unknown to all but possibly her older sister. In fact that is the person I had thought of contacting next as there is a very good chance she would have known who my father was. But of course then I will be causing problems and be a trouble maker. So right now I am stuck. It is not my fault that things worked out the way they did but I also feel like I now have no place at all. I don't have much of an adopted family left and they are nearly all gone from the area I live in. I am very happy to have a family tee now even if they don't know I exist and I am going to have a DNA test done soon too. I know each adoptee is different and some could care less about their bio roots. I am the opposite of that so please understand that to me this is very important even though it may not be to others. I want to be part of a family that I am blood to yet do not know. I must be more damaged then I ever guessed. :(

Ouch. I'm sorry that your conversation with your biological mother was both hurtful and unsuccessful. The family tree is a helpful thing to have. The DNA test could be helpful too - anything that gives us, as adoptees, more knowledge of ourselves and where we come from is helpful in my view. I think that's a great idea to move forward with.As for being part of your birth family... unfortunately, your first contact, with your biological mother, did not go well. There is a chance that, given time, she will change her mind. Hearing from you out of the blue must have been quite a shock for her. Unfortunately, there's also a chance that she won't change her mind. Reunions are not guaranteed, and they cannot be forced. WANTING one doesn't mean that you're damaged, though. For many adoptees, it's just a normal part of our psyche - the need to know more about genetic roots.I'd say give her some time to get used to the idea of contact with you. If she remains resistant, you do not need her permission to move forward and try contacting others in your birth family. Perhaps someone else can give you your birth father's name. Perhaps not. While every adoptee *should* have the right to access to their own family information, sadly, we are at the mercy of courts and people who are not always forthright and don't always have the information we seek. I'm sorry that that seems to be the case for you, at this point.I wish you good luck moving forward.

Update with a happy ending. I gave my mom one month to return my call which she did not. So I went on to plan B. Almost a year of planning this allowed me to think through the various possibilities. I contacted 2 of my cousins via FB. Both are one year younger then I and after showing them both the birth certificate and one of them coming right away to see me with her mom (my aunt), I am finally home with my bio family!!! Once my aunt saw me there was no doubt in her mind (the look on her face was priceless!) and I now see why. Thanks to her I was finally able to see a few pictures of my mom for the first time ever and there is no denying my blood lines. I was (and still am in her eyes) a huge secret. My aunt meeting me also helped by her being able to confirm that I am who I say I am to the rest of the family and again once they accepted my friend request and could see various pictures of me there was no question. The rest of the family has now welcomed me with open arms and I have never cried so many tears of joy. I went with my cousin and aunt yesterday to the old family farm and to the cemetery to pay respects to my grandparents and one uncle who died in an auto accident. Not only do I share his skills skills but I actually look a lot like him too. I also missed one other cousin who passed in 2004. I would have adored her too and ironically the rest of the family found out about me on her birthday. So that made it a bit more special. After the initial shock it turns out that my mom does not talk to anyone else in the family much so keeping me a secret from her will not be hard to do. She also ha no other children so while I wanted some siblings I am still grateful for the amount of cousins I have. So while I didn't get my ultimate wish #1, I did get #2 which is everyone other then my mom. I'll take that and I have never felt so happy and so peaceful. While I still have the puzzle of who my dad is to figure out I finally feel like my journey is complete and I am home. So it was worth waiting almost a year and waiting another month to make sure I did what was right for me. And I don't regret one bit of it. Hopefully mom will come around some day but if not it will be her loss as the rest of us are having a great time bonding! Don't give up if the pull is as strong with you as it was for me. Good or bad I was going to see it all the way through and maybe I just got lucky but I am still glad that I never gave up. For myself the pay off has already justified the struggle to find them for all these years. I can't stop smiling now. :D

I forgot to add that not only is my family very impressed with the tree I have but I also have given them info and family names they never even knew about. I was pleased to be able to start contributing to the family. My work was well worth it and well received which made me very happy plus since it is hidden I was finally able to add my cousins who can help make some minor corrections.