DCF saying no to Open Adoption Agreement

Anyone been through this: TPR happened, birthdad is appealing. Through our STBAS's appellate attorney, we offered an open adoption agreement (2 visits/year) if birthdad dropped the appeal. He (through his attorney) verbally agreed. But DCF is saying no. They think they can win the appeal, and don't want to settle. Our STBAS's attorney says it can't happen without DCF's ok. Our argument is that our kiddo has been in foster care TOO LONG, and appeals in our area average 18-24 months. Plus there is always the risk that DCF could loose the appeal. We want to settle, finalize, and give our kiddo a chance at a normal life. We will, of course, take all sorts of precautions with visits with birthdad. And his history suggests that he is likely to disappear anyway. Any suggestions on what to say to DCF to try to persuade them to agree with an open adoption agreement?? I continue to be disgusted with the way the system works........