I am sorry to read what you and hubby are going through. I am praying for you and hoping that the BF realizes that you can provide a more stable home environment for your child. I wonder if you can agree to an open adoption where he could visit you from time to time and in that way he can find peace with his feelings and agree to the adoption. Have you discussed that as an option?
Thank you FLAdoptiveMama. We have offered him an open adoption. So far he has been uninterested in meeting us or looking at our profile. We have a very open adoption with bmom. She has our email and phone number and can contact us whenever she wants. We will also try to have an annual visit. We live in different states so we both agree that there may be a time when a trip is not possible but we will try every year. We have offered the same open adoption to bdad but have not gotten much of a response. We have found out a few things that make us believe he never really wanted the adoption. We completely respect his right to parent and never wanted to prevent him from doing so. I wish everyone had been more honest throughout this process but adoption is a tricky thing. People are operating on high emotions and sometimes things get monkeyed (sp?) up. We are just hopeful that this will get resolved quickly so that if our DD has to change homes, the transition will happen ASAP so it will be a tad easier on her. That is my main focus; making this as easy on her as possible.