lost in a sea of emotions

hi. my story is a little different. I never gave my daughter up for adoption. I allowed a family member to take care of her until i got out of the homeless shelter i was living in, and she refused to give her back. we agreed to slowly get her comfortable with me so it wasn't tragic for her. (she had her about 6 months). I last saw her on her july of 2002. i attepted to call her even at work to get her to bring my daughter back and during the time she moved. I never got an address or # so all i had was her work #. I told her I was taking legal action on her recorder at work; she refused to answer my calls and if someone answered for her they told me she was at lunch, no matter the time of day. i tried putting out an amber alert and the police wouldn't let me because even though i had her birth certificate, which i still have, they said i couldn't prove she was my daughter, and i could not find a lawyer that would touch the case. I finally found someone willing to help and they were closed for the holidays so i had to wait and during that waiting period i was served with termination of parental rights papers. i never signed them. Needless to say the legal team i had would not help with anything because court would be held in another county that was too far away. I was advised not to represent myself due to being a minor,17, and obviously i didn't make the court date. I have never stopped trying. I have found family members and have contacted them with no reply, i write her father in prison and he has stopped writing back, but i FINALLY found someone who is willing to help. I have been scared because i do not know if she has a restraining order on me, or if there is red tape, but the people who are helping me are waiting to confirm an address and are going to drive me up to see her!!!! i am scared!!! they want me to tell her the truth, she is 11, and i want to, but i don't want to mentally mess her up. I am willing to be a cousin or something if i have to be, i just don't know what they have told my daughter. best case: she knows she is not her child....worst case: they either told her i was dead, this family would do something that cruel, or she doesn't know she doesn't belong to them. and what if the lady slams the door in my face or starts yelling and screaming while i am trying to sit down and talk with my daughter???? what do i say??? how do i start??? what if she hates me and tells me to get out of her life??? i am so confused!!! I know her world is going to flip upside down no matter what situation comes along...but my heart is telling me not to lie to her and my head is telling me to be rational and not hurt her in anyway.....any advice??!!!