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I have permanent custody of my cousin's daughter. He passed away. Her mother is a heroine addict. I have had her without interruption since 27 months. She had extreme symptoms of aggression and almost constant screaming when she came to live with me. I worked hard through counseling to bond with her and I thought we had established a bond. Her behavior had ceased for a long time. She appeared somewhat normal from day to day and had screaming rages only a few times in the last year.
We recently relocated. Her behavior has regressed and escalated to a violent and scary level. She has left bruises on my older daughter, throws rocks at our vehicles, abuses our animals, and is innapropriatly "bonding" in a fast and brief manner with any adult that will give her the time of day. She behaves in a manipulatively sweet manner to get what she wants, and then within a few weeks of knowing her new "friends" she becomes abusive and pushes them away.
I have recently read that with disinhibited attachment disorder children feel threatened by sensitive caregivers because their past trauma from dysfunctional caregivers distorts their image of love. She was repeatedly abandoned by her mother and father from the infancy stages to her final arrival to me. The article I read by David Howe said that these children will grow increasingly aggressive toward a loving caregiver as a self preservation method. i am scared to see how this develops and I need supporty. I can relate to other mother's feelings of despair and frustration. I am at the end of my rope and need help handling her.
She is hitting me, kicking me, saying mean, and threatening things, and really seems to have transferred her anger from her other "mom's" who had her, to Myself and my daughter, who is 10. We are stressed to the max. I am a little depressed just thinking of waking up to deal again with her daily violence. i get anxiety when picking her up from her grandmother's and find myself regretting taking her in without the resources and financial stability to handle her. I chose to take her from a place of grief, love for my cousin, and fear for her safety. I am really scared for us right now. Any words from understanding folk?
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