BioMonster - Yuck

It sounded like she didn't want to hear, that you were abused. Maybe out of guilt or whatever she didn't want to believe it or think about your abuse. It sound like she could be your bio, I'm sorry you were abused, you had this bad experience..

How specific of a time... 7 p.m. and 7:18 are very different. One is easy to guess, another isn't.A lot of people look alike in some way.Is her FB profile filled with relatives or a bunch of random people she added? Could be fake or just be someone screwing with you or the correct person.Odd that she would contact you then be a @(#*#, but.. like someone else said, maybe she felt guilt after you told her that. Contact your state registry to verify who she is and/or get a DNA test.

maybe try the adoption agency?? When I found my son, even though they really shouldn't have, they confirmed for us that I was his b mom. Try them and hope that this woman is not your b mom

Did you give her your blood type info. If not, I'm thinking she the real deal. Also I not sure how she could get that info.

Contact the registry in your state to verify. If you both register, they should be able to match-- or not match-- you. 7 a.m. could be guessed easily-- 7:13 and 5 seconds wouldn't be easy to guess. There are 4 main blood times, with only 2 being common. Not that hard to guess. 37% of white people are O + ... the second most common is at 33% with A+. If you want to look like someone, you can easily find something about yourself that looks vaguely like someone. She could be real. She contacted you and you said she has the more exact time and blood type. But, like I said, you won't know for sure without either a DNA test and/or contacting your state registry.

Even if she doesn't remember those details, that doesn't mean much. Now that I have been contacted by my first son, I realize that I don't remember some specifics about his birth, like what time he was born or his size. I think a DNA test is a good idea. If you (the first person posting in this thread) have a physical object that she touched, like an envelope, there may be enough useful DNA present to do the testing.

After some time I'm pretty sure she's for real. Apparently when she found out things weren't great for me she started looking for the out. I wish I had never bothered with any of this. What an enormous letdown. I hope all of you have better luck in your lives. I'm so tired of the stigma and rejection. People are way too cruel to adoptees. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone.

After some time I'm pretty sure she's for real. Apparently when she found out things weren't great for me she started looking for the out. I wish I had never bothered with any of this. What an enormous letdown. I hope all of you have better luck in your lives. I'm so tired of the stigma and rejection. People are way too cruel to adoptees. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone.

I gave it some time and tried again, only this time with more logic and less emotion. She was incredibly rude and once again only really listened enough to find ways to humiliate me. I now believe that her sole purpose in contacting me was to make me pay for rage she still harbors at my father. She seems amused at my anguish. I am going to file a lawsuit.

end668,I am sorry that your mother cannot be more empathetic.I wonder if it less about the rage she feels toward your father and more about the guilt she feels about relinquishing you. So many mothers wanted to believe that their children would be treated like princes/princesses in their adoptive homes. That is one way that they were able to deal with the trauma. Many needed to believe that we were given a better life.When she heard that you were abused, it may have sent her emotions into ovedrive. And, unfortunately, she may have felt the need to lash out at you. (You're the only one around.)

You said in your original post that your mother became "hostile" and judgmental of you when you told her you were abused growing up. I'm wondering if the hostility was her way of dealing with rage and anger. As a natural mother of a son who was physically and emotionally abused throughout his childhood, I can attest to the emotional devastation that washed over me when I discovered this fact. I felt that it was ALL my fault, since I am the one who put him in harm's way by placing him for adoption to begin with back in 1972. I'm sorry she's being rude to you. I don't understand it, myself. Can you ask her in an email why she seems so hostile towards you?

Thank you for the kind words. Unfortunately I have tried diplomacy, logic and appeals to her conscience, but she brushes these off as if I'm scheming. Without posting the whole conversation it's hard to convey, but even now she reacts to me as if I'm someone else. She has no idea who I am or what I've been through, yet she judges me as if she knows me. Part of me is beginning to suspect my adoptive mother, driven mad by her guilt and fear of my eventual discovery of what she did, contacted her and attempted to poison things by "warning" her. This might sound crazy, but after the nightmarish realizations I have come to in years of therapy I finally understand that she is capable of anything. She set out to destroy my life and almost took it as well under wildly unfounded pretenses (public record in a police report she made when she lied to the police and said I threatened to kill her, when in actuality my adoptive father threatened to beat ME up and I told them to stay away from me) and I'm finding she has attempted to influence anyone around me she possibly can, so I cannot even set foot in my hometown. This is all so wrong! I didn't DO ANYTHING BUT BE BORN TO THESE HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE PEOPLE. And I'm still alive, but it's so hollow now. I haven't felt joy since before I went to the hospital (a result of her impassioned police report was some nice brutality and a staph infection which lead to endocarditis, and I almost died in the hospital - now I have permanent heart defects). And in the police report the word "adopted" is used over and over. It makes me so sick. I have never wanted to harm anyone! I just wish they all would die, but I know they won't because evil lives to a ripe old age. I really think adoption should be abolished. But then again, after what I've been handed, if humankind snuffs itself out, big deal. Sorry to vent, but I can't keep it all inside or I can't sleep even a little. I hate the holidays. Cheeseburger day today - no adoptives allowed at my in-laws' houses. They're all just as bigoted. How could you let this happen? Nobody defends us. Nobody tells others that we're worthwhile - they just see us as freaks. Abortion should be mandatory.

You need to tell and show people that you are worthwhile. Very few people in this world will take a stand for you. You need to do it for yourself.It sounds like you need to protect yourself from some toxic relationships. When people try to get me down, I tend to take the I'll-show-them mentality. Yes, we are adopted. But, that doesn't make us worthless. I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time, but you can get through this. You have to be your own advocate.

I always have been and I always will be my own advocate. I put myself through college, developed an expertise with computer networks and just after I broke away and started my own company is when the adoptives came after me, my success sending mother into a vengeful rampage, poisoning every relationship she could with disastrous rumors. Now that the adoptives have been banned from my life I'm trying to pick things up, but biomom showed up right in the middle of that process and set it back further. To work that out I set 10 tons of flagstone into a patio in my backyard. I work hard every single day, and don't you believe otherwise. Thanksgiving is just a nasty reminder that being me is NOT ok for plenty of others around me, and it makes me mad. I have to vent this somewhere, so I do it here. I appreciate you taking the time to ingest this and give me feedback. It helps a lot.

Understood. . . . It does get tiring to have to carry the load by oneself all of the time. But, there are people who will think that you are okay just as you are. I truly am sorry about your b-mom and the adoptives (as you call them).Life certainly isn't for the faint of heart, is it?