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My DD has always had problems with emotion regulation. Everything is at the extremes for her. She came home at 20 months and we've been working through her attachment and sensory issues since then. We've made a lot of progress, but this is one I have a hard time with. She's 5 1/2 years old now.
If something is bad, then it's "throw yourself on the floor and scream and 'you don't love me'" bad. If something is funny, then it's so funny that she can't stop laughing. When she was younger, it was "can't stop laughing, then start flailing around and hitting people" funny. She often literally needs to be sent to her room for 5-10 minutes to calm herself back down when something is funny.
How do I help her with learning to regulate this? Of course, she WANTS to laugh. I want her to be able to laugh. But it's hard that she gets so out of control so easily and then has to have consequences for getting her emotions back under control, so I tend to stop her right when she starts so she doesn't get out of control. We've talked about it ad nauseum. I try to help her when she gets dysregulated, but she literally can NOT get it under control unless she has big consequences. I've tried to give her small amounts of time (aka "You can be silly for one minute and then it's time to stop") and after that amount of time, she can't stop herself ... she wants to continue to be silly.
My DS is a year younger and he can be silly and when it's time to stop, he can stop. So it's not an age thing or a kid thing.
Anyone have any things that have worked for them for emotion regulation?
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For my daughter, it was all about manipulating people and how they saw her. So to see herself in a less than positive light made her aware of how she looked to those she wanted to manipulate, and she became pretty self conscious about throwing fits. It also helped to see episodes of Nanny 911, and Super Nanny, so she could see the kids looked ridiculous, immature and the adults were unfazed by the behavior.
aspenhall
For my daughter, it was all about manipulating people and how they saw her. So to see herself in a less than positive light made her aware of how she looked to those she wanted to manipulate, and she became pretty self conscious about throwing fits. It also helped to see episodes of Nanny 911, and Super Nanny, so she could see the kids looked ridiculous, immature and the adults were unfazed by the behavior.
My son is like this too. Although infrequently. But I do make an effort to shut it down when I see it coming. Are there certain things that make it worse? For instance, DS can not play rough with DH. It always gets out of control. So I stop horse play the minute it starts. DS loses control much more easily if he has had sugar. I literally say "Oops. You better tromp down your reaction or I am going to think I shouldn't have let you have ice cream." Stopping it before it starts and getting some maturity (it seems like it was the worst about at your DD's age). But DS doesn't have attachment or sensory issues, so I don't know if either of those things would help.
Could you maybe substitute something for the sensory input she gets from over reacting? Like a rubber band she can snap on her wrist (slap bracelets work well) or something rough and scratchy you put on her shoe lace or someplace inconspicuous? Something that you can point her too and say "That is hilarious but you better slap your wrist (or whatever) so you do not lose control." Basically, replacement stimulation. DS used to have a stress ball he carried around in his pocket at the beginning of school to keep himself from crying because he cried easily. It made a big difference after just a few weeks.
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