Family Conversion - pros and cons

I think it's good that you're thinking about these things; however, you are a long ways from that at this point.I converted as an adult, a few years prior to adopting my son. The conversion process itself is a long process. Not to sound harsh, but if you are not willing to raise your child as a Jew, you may want to consider whether you are really committed to becoming Jewish. One of the commitments we make as Jews (especially observant Jews) is to raise our children as Jews.My son is AA. We live in a small city and are members of a small synagogue. C will likely be the only brown-skinned kid in his Hebrew school class. Of course, looking at the kids his age in our synagogue, there will only be two other kids in his class, so it's not overly surprising. :) He won't be the only non-white kid in our synagogue, though.Regardless of the racial make-up of your local Jewish community, the Jewish people is made up of a multitude of colors. I would talk with the rabbi about it. There is also an organization called B'chol Lashon that may be helpful. It was started to help create a greater connection to the diversity within our communities. They do education and outreach and also run a summer camp for kids as well as a family camp.

Thanks so much for your response- so happy to hear from others who have traveled the road I'm starting out on. What you say is not harsh at all. I may not have worded it correctly in my OP, but the reason religion is important now at this point in my life is because of my AD. We would be converting as a family, or not at all, with her being the main reason for doing so. This is great! I will definitely look into it. She's only three, so a long way off from summer camp at this point, but family camp sounds wonderful!

You can do family camp when kids are either 3 or 4 (can't remember which), and it's just for a weekend. I looked into it, but C is too young :( The overnight camp starts at age 8. I found it really helpful to just have the connection to the organization, though. Again, so things don't feel so alone.I should have said in my earlier post - feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk or process conversion "stuff" (or anything else).

I was concerned about our DD being the only dark skinned child in our community but it turns out that is not at all the case, not even in our medium sized, conservative temple. Good luck with everything,

The face of the Jewish community is changing, as a result of intermarriage, adoption, and immigration. My daughter, who is of Chinese heritage, went to a Conservative Jewish day school from Kindergarten through seveth grade. There were many kids of color in the school, including Ethiopians, Eritreans, Chinese, Korean, Latino, American Blacks, etc. One girl in my daughter's class had two Eritrean Jewish parents; her appearance was similar to that of Ethiopians. Another girl was biracial; her Black Mom converted to Judaism long before she married her White Jewish husband, because she found the religion more attractive than the Catholicism in which she was raised. I'm an old Jewish single Mom of a Chinese daughter, and one of her classmates also had an old single Mom -- older than I was, which was delightful. Becca found an Argentinian Jewish boy in her class attractive. And so on. Interestingly, my daughter was popular among the kids AND their parents. A couple of them seemed eager to "match up" my daughter with their sons, probably because she was bright, well-behaved, and very attractive. As long as she was Jewish -- and she was, having been converted in a mikvah and named in a synagogue -- her race was not an issue. Of course, I'm not naive; race DOES become an issue with some parents as kids enter their teens and twenties and begin dating the people they may actually marry some day. But even now, with Becca being 16, I find that she is more accepted by Jewish families than by some of the Chinese families with whom she currently goes to school. Judaism is a tough religion, however. When you become a Jew, you take upon yourself not only some fairly serious commitments to Jewish practices, but also a long history of being the victims of religious discrimination and persecution. The Holocaust becomes part of YOUR history. Many rabbis actually turn down potential converts until they are absolutely sure that they absolutely want to throw in their lot with the Jewish people throughout history, to accept Jewish traditions and customs wholeheartedly, and to be Jewish, even in the face of discrimination. They don't want Judaism to be something that is entered into so that their future inlaws will find them acceptable, or so they can give kids some sort of religious education, because people who convert for such reasons often "uncovert" if they get divorced or discover yet another tradition that seems attractive. Jewish tradition says that God offered the Torah to many nations, all of whom turned it down for one reason or another -- too hard, too contrary to local customs, and so on. Only the ancient Israelites accepted the Torah, despite its many requirements and prohibitions. And they did so with a glad heart. And to this day, Judaism recognizes that being Jewish isn't right for some people. They can be good human beings, and good Christians or Buddhists or atheists whose prayers are heard by God, but they may not want to take on the burden of being Jewish. Jewish law forbids proselytising, and expects conversion candidates truly to say, "I want to be part of the Jewish people." So give serious thought to the decision to convert to Judaism. No, you don't have to accept every single tenet of Orthodox law. That's tough, even for some Orthodox Jews. But you truly have to want to be Jewish and to make your family Jewish. Otherwise, you would do better to join an organization that is focused on living a moral and ethical life -- possibly something like the Ethical Culture society -- and draw upon its lessons for raising a child without a specific faith to be a good person. Sharon

Thank you all for your response! Ruth, I will take you up on your offer to PM you - this will be a huge undertaking, and I'd love to get advice from someone who's BTDT!Sharon, your response really touched me. I can't thank you enough for all you've written. You are right. It's not something that should be taken lightly, and I realize even with the knowledge I've gleaned from friends and my own research, I don't know enough at this point to make such an important decision.The pre-conversion classes will only three times, and will provide me with the opportunity learn about Judaism from a rabbi and speak with him about our particular situation. The conversion sessions wouldn't start until late Fall, so I'll have plenty of time in between to consider his advice, think of it from a more enlightened stance. At this point I am identifying most with the Reform Judaism denomination.