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My wife and I are foster parents in Ohio and have been for going on three years. We have had six placements to date and three are currently in our home. Our oldest child is 4 and her 2 years has come up. She came to us from another foster home about 9 months ago. Our agency just had her PC hearing last week. Mom is a registered tier II sex offender and has not seen her child since she was 9 months old. The child was removed from a home that mom had placed her in before she was incarcerated. Agency started a plan for mom but never really worked it because mom was in prison. Mom was released from prison about a year ago and was told by the agency that she needed to have documentation from the court stating it did not violate the terms of her parole to be around the child. She and her attorney did not do this. Fast forward to about 3 months ago and the agency has to do something since the two years has approached and they come to my wife and I and ask us to file for legal custody. The caseworker was afraid that there were "too many holes" in the agency's case for them to win and they were very afraid that mom would get the child back. This did not sit well with us for many reasons but we spoke to several attorneys involved and not involved with this case just to get an understanding of what was going on and what we should do . We were not impressed with the answers and felt that the agency needed to fight for this child if they felt so strongly about protecting her. So, my wife was subpoenaed for the PC hearing and we went to court. Sat at the courthouse all day and she finally was called to testify. Shortly after her testimony, the magistrate sent all non attorneys out of the courtroom. Now, up to this point, mom was sure she was loosing. Apparently, the mom's attorney had requested the court to do a risk assessment on mom and had been denied but for some reason something happened that brought that back up and the attorney wanted to try again for this assessment. The court proceedings stopped and all the attorneys were buzzing about us filing for legal custody yet again!!!! These attorneys had themselves convinced that we would be filing for legal custody when we left that building even though we were still telling them the reasons we have no desire to do this. This mom will not admit to her crime even though she served time, she blames other people for her crime and said she took the wrap for molesting a little girl, her home is a disgusting mess with dog feces on the floor (even though the dog has been gone for at least two months) and has no running water, she just started taking an interest in her daughter's life, has no job and no desire to get one, etc..... The agency wants to dump this case on us and put us in the position to deal with this mom, this family, when they have not done so in two years. We became foster parents to build our family through adoption and not legal custody. We do not want this child to have to deal with this sad reality throughout her formidable years however, we really feel like it has to be all or nothing for us. We know this child has been molested by someone even though we can't prove it. We certainly would not want her to ever have to be alone with her mother if she is the one who did that to her but if we have legal custody, then we would be bound by the court for visitations. We are so sickened by what our agency has allowed to happen! We should not be in this position but more importantly, this precious child should not have to be in this position. We need some serious help with this ASAP. Please let there be someone out there with some insight for us.
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I am so sorry that you (and your fd) are having to go through this. From what you said, I would have to agree that the agency has seriously dropped the ball and is trying to wipe their hands clean of the whole mess.
I would not agree to legal custody. It would only open you up to a whole host of issues with the bio-mom.
JMO
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I am so sorry to hear about your battle (lets face it, it IS a battle). The only words of advice I can offer is stand your ground. After the adoption of our two babies, and the placement of a teenager - we have figured out how the system works. Case worker goes into a meeting with their supervisor. Opens up case file.. creates a check list.. walks out of the meeting, makes a few calls, crosses things off checklist - then starts all over again with another case. WE ARE THE ONLY ADVOCATES for these children. You really just need to stand your ground, tell them YOUR rules and how they are to play. Do the children in Ohio have CASA's? They are court appointed advocates for the child. Not their lawyer, a volunteer who IS a party to the case and can speak on behalf of the child and make recommendations to the court. I have heard of CASA's making all the difference. If they do have them available, have your case worker request one - might help you out more than anything.
I am surprised that after 2 years you aren't considered a party to the case. I have been a fp for several years and usually go to the hearings - here in this state - I stand up when the attorneys, workers, and CASA do. I don't say anything unless addressed - and the judge does usually do so.2hopefuldad's is right - these aren't case workers - they are case managers. They manage the legal aspect of the case. If you don't remind them, stay on them, and keep track of it all - no one does - and then the child is in a dilemma not of their making. The poor kids are the ones that suffer and WE have to do what we can.All I can say is - hold your line - ask questions about status's - even if they don't answer you - it will remind them that there was something that needed done.and good luck. Bless you for traveling this far up this road - and bless you for taking such an awesome interest in this child.
Don't do something you'll regret a year from now. Even though it's painful, even if you could lose the placement, it would be better than fighting these bio parents for the next five years and having to deal with them. You getting legal custody means the county gets to wash their hands of you. If you say no they might fight harder to get the kids.
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