I received an email from an adoption recruiter regarding an 8 yo boy who requires total care and will require total care for the rest of his life. Adoption photolisting referred me to her as a possible match. She connected me with the worker. I was able to obtain the following info from the worker today:
The child is disabled because of being born prematurely and having a brain bleed. The bleed caused brain damage.
The child does not have "medical issues" as regards issues with his heart, kidneys, etc.
The child has a G tube; however, the adoption photolisting site says he is starting to take foods by mouth.
I also know that he is non-verbal and cannot stay sitting without assistance at this time; however, it is hoped in the future he will be able to walk with a walker. (I also know I can't count on that because I have to be able to accept him as he is now.)
The foster parent is going to call me this weekend and I'm trying to come up with some questions to ask. I am seriously thinking about taking this child; however, I want to come up with questions to ask the foster parent to make sure I have as close to a total picture as I can.
I know that I need to ask what type of medications he is on. This will tell me a lot. For example, if he's on something like Risperdone, he has behaviors, etc.
Can anyone give me some guidance on other things I could ask?
Last update on November 17, 8:24 am by Sachin Gupta.
If you can find Lylac who often posts in the special needs section, she has kids with similar issues and can be a great resource.
Hi :)
The medications will tell you alot. From the brief history that you told us. I would say that him being medically stable, feeindings w/gtube and starting to take some foods by mouth. Is very encouraging. Basically you'll have a forever baby, meaning that he may not ever develope beyond that.
Is he going to school, or is he homebound?
Subsidies will be a major part in a child like this, especially the medical coverage.
It's not so much what you have to ask his foster mom, it's what you have to ask yourself.
Can I accept this child as he is today?
Do I have a good support team in place..nurses, friends, family, that are willing to give you breaks.
Can I commit myself for the rest of my life to this childs care and provide options for when your gone.
I have 3 that will need total care.
Abbie age 6 now (wow where has the time gone) is my most severe and actually sounds just like the lil man that you've been matched with. Things will be crazy at first, but once you get a routine down, He will be nothing short of the joy in your life. Assuming that he has no behavior issues. of course.
I love all my babies ore than life itself, but Abbie is just so special, I think mainly because she needs me so much. These type babies are easy (to me) feed them, talk to them, and love them.
There is nothing that i love more than snuggling with Abbie, talking to her and watch her eyes light up.
Communication is always a big issue, for some. But you will learn your child and find that he will communicate in other ways.
I'd totally fall for this lil boy :)
Came back to add, Abbie also has multiple seizure disorders..and has them frequently all day every day. So I would definately ask about any history of that. Even if he doesn't have them now, you need to know if he ever has.
Good Luck and keep us updated :)
Ha. Just read Lylac's post on the other forum and then added my thoughts about siezures only to come over here and see Lylac covered it. He does sound like my DD also. Man I would love it if DD didn't have seizures!
Find out what the developmental age he is at.
How is his breathing? Does he require O2, C-pap, or a trach? Sleep Apnea?
What type of threrapy is he receiving--is it through the school or private and how is it funded? (OT, PT, Speech)
Where was the brain bleed and what Grade was it? Seizures history?
What type of equimpnet does he use and does it come with him or will it need to be obtained at placement? Such as wheelchair, stander, bathchair, feeding chair, walker, ect...
My bio son is 12 and has CP from a brain bleed and is DD but on a day to day basis he is easy to care for and the most loving little guy that there is.
Good luck!
Thank all of you for your feedback. I was able to speak with the foster parent today and what I learned from her was pretty much what I expected as a total overall picture. I basically wanted to know big things like overall medical issues, behavior issues, etc. The good news is that there are few of either of these.
The next questions are towards the worker in terms of what they are willing to give in terms of a subsidy and how many visits to FL would be needed if I were matched with him. Things are fairly tight right now since I'm staying home to take care of my mother who just came out of PT rehab and I don't have the extra funds to make trips there although I would want the transition to be successful. We'll see if my questions scare away the worker.