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I am still pretty new here, but I could really use some advice. I am a birthmom to a great 18 year old son who contacted me a few months ago. We have been emailing and messaging through facebook for 7 months now. I met him and his amom a few months ago and he really would like to get to know my other 3 children, his half sibs, but I don't know how to tell them about him. I was planning on telling them when we had "the talk" but him finding me has pushed this up some. The kids are 10, 9 and 7 and I just don't know where to start or what to say. I want to be honest, but not give more info then they are ready for. Any advice is much appriciated.
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Wow, that's big. Do you have pictures you can show them? Maybe put in context of telling them about your life before they were born? I know I've always loved when my parents talked about their childhoods, when they were dating, etc. I'm getting tattoos for each of my kids, and if I have more, I will just talk about the ones I lost as it comes up. I have nothing to be ashamed of, so I'm very open about what happened. Their father's family sees that as airing dirty laundry, but I guess the people who did the dirty deeds would have reason to hide it.
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Oh wow!! I found myself in a similar situation 15 years ago. My three kids were 9, 6 and 4!! Two dauhters and a son. My bdaughter was 18!!!
It seemed so hard to find the right moment...but bit the bullet and told them one sunny day. After listening to me they proceeded to start dancing around the lawn singing..."we have a sisiter we have a sister". What was I worried about?
I think the younger they are told the better. I have heard of kids around the 14yr old mark really not coping with the information. I have a friend whose relationship with her daughter has never been the same, she was 14 at the time and is now 25. She felt her mother had lied to her all those years.
Good luck...looking forward to hearing how it goes.
PS One of my raised daughters is now living with my bdaughter!!! They hve had a few teething problems but on the whole are now getting on well. Its crazy ole world!!!
Thank You both for replying, my husband and I have decided to bite the bullet and bring it up at our Friday family meeting. Hopefully they will be as receptive as your kiddos were susieloo. I however can not wait to get this out in the open to them. It is kind of funny to me because my youngest has for years been asking me for another brother, "but an older one, because I can't stand crying babies."