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Hello everyone, I am a new poster to the board but have been coming here often during my foster/adopt journey for sideline encourgement. So a little background, hubby and I have been licensed for 3 months. Had our first sib group placement,a 6week old and an 18 month old.:happydance: They were legal risk and were ru with a family member. Both happy and sad! Happy they went to family, sad they could not stay with us. Anyway, fast forward present day. We have submitted our homestudy for a sib group of 6. :eek: I am both excited and nervous.....I don't think the whole thing has sunk in with hubby yet. So I am wondering.....has anyone started their journey thinking they would adopt 1-2 or 2-3 kids and in turn adopted 4 or more at once? If so, how was the adjustment for your family? Since we are so new to this process I don't want to get in over my head but I have a strong desire to help as many kids as I can. I will be a SAHM as we both own businesses but I can work from home. Hubby travels and is away from home alot. So the bulk of day to day will fall on me. Also, we have no fulltime kiddos in the home, just my stepson partitime. Thanks in advance.......:love:
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I grew up around families where the typical number of children were 4 or 5. We knew we wanted a sibling group and really didn't care about the size. We were matched with a 2,3 and 4 yr old. Five months later those children's bio cousins moved in and they were 11months, 3 and 7. ALL of the children are special needs. Oh did I mention that we already had a 10 and 12 yr old :) Like you I am a stay at home mom and at the time my husband traveled for long periods of time. All my energy for the first 3 years was focused on the children and their needs. Therapy's, services and mental health were all needed. 1 summer we had 15 appt. per week to address needs! I packed everyone up and we made a day of it. Waited at the park, packed lunches etc. WE MADE IT THOUGH! But it wasn't an easy run. My kids couldn't be left with babysitters. We even tried Personal Care Attendants (PCA's) My children ate them up and spit them out. We as parents brought our children EVERYWHERE for the first 3 years! My children still can not do sports or camps unless someone is monitoring their behaviors. So that means if they are in soccer so am I :) Dealing with the schools is also fun when you have a houseful and they have needs. Be prepared to get multiple notes home or phone calls. Laundry, dishes and food bill oh my...won't even go there. I will mention the upside to having a large family. There is nothing better then having your own cheering secion or soccer team. There is always someone to play with (or get into mischief with :) ) There is usually someone that you can "share" clothes with or look forward to hand me downs. As a parent I am not surprised about nothing anymore and sometimes have a hard time biting my lip when parents of 1 or 2 children complain about being busy...they have NO IDEA!!! I love Fall because I get to see a bunch of pumpkins in my yard that wouldn't be there unless I had all of my children. I could go on and on but really I wouldn't change my crazy, chaotic family for anything. We put the "fun" in dysfunctional :) Taking on a large group from foster is a lot different then raising your own because you do have to play catch up and those first few years are really, really tough. Some of my kids have improved, others not so much but we were able to let go of a few services and are down to only 3 in mental health. It takes a lot, ALOT, of determination and strength but if you go in with your eyes wide open you will be just fine. PS... I don't have grey hair yet nor do I have any bald spots from pulling out my hair :P Good Luck to you and your hubby!!!!
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I just wanted to update this post. We didn't think we were still up for this sibling group as a family member came forward the end of October but low and behold, they were disqualified. We have our first visit with our hopeful future kiddos tomorrow. I am so excited and nervous. Thank you again to everyone for the advice. Wish us luck!
Wait, back up a few posts. I want a granny-nanny! How do you get one of those? LOL Good luck with your meeting tomorrow. How exciting. I'm so glad there are people like you who can take on these larger sibling groups. If only we had the space I'd be begging the hubby. I'm lucky he let me put in for two. LOL
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want2bamom40
I just wanted to update this post. We didn't think we were still up for this sibling group as a family member came forward the end of October but low and behold, they were disqualified. We have our first visit with our hopeful future kiddos tomorrow. I am so excited and nervous. Thank you again to everyone for the advice. Wish us luck!
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want2bamom40
I just wanted to update this post. We didn't think we were still up for this sibling group as a family member came forward the end of October but low and behold, they were disqualified. We have our first visit with our hopeful future kiddos tomorrow. I am so excited and nervous. Thank you again to everyone for the advice. Wish us luck!
I have to add to the cautions from other posters who pointed out how different caring for hurt kids is compared to bio kids who have suffered little/no trauma. I'm a teacher with many years of experience working with young children of all backgrounds. Becoming a foster parent of two was FAR more exhausting. If you don't have experience with kids in foster care, I'd strongly encourage you to get some before adopting, especially a large sibling group. Sorry to be a "Debbie Downer". I admire your heart for kids and your courage. Keep us posted!
There are 3 boys and 3 girls. We have our second visit this Friday. Everything is moving along great. I have already finished Christmas shopping for them. As you can tell, I am very excited and I am a big kid around the holidays. However, I am trying to be reserved when they first come as I don't want to overwhelm them. I know holidays can be hard on the kids. We have 24 days until they come to be with us for good, I will keep you guys posted.:cheer:
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UPDATE: We had our second visit Friday with the kids. We are 3 hours away and we made it 30 mins late (very bad accident on the freeway), so we only got to spend an hour with them. The visit was great just too short. I also found out they will not do the placement until after Christmas. I am sad, and a little upset, but I understand why. It is always about what is best for the kids first and foremost. So now I am filling my days with getting info for school, finding doctors, etc. I have to stay busy or I will go nuts. Very much looking forward to our overnight on the 14th!!! :D
New here and I was curious what the update is for this family. It's been 3 years now...