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Feelings on fund raising & asking for donations towards adoption expenses?
I'm looking to different prospective on fund raising &/or asking for donations to help fund a adoption. And options for raising money.
I should note we live comfortably but are not rich. We are saving our own money towards adoption. Like many of you we are also paying off prior medical bills/fertility treatment.
We don't like to spend money we don't have. (We use credit but still never get something we can't pay off at the end of the month. Unless it is a medical/transportation/home emergency.)
The cost in our area & situation for Domestic Infant Adoption is $35,000-$48,000. My wife thinks short of windfall like selling our home or large loan it would take us a couple of years to save the cash.
(We could be relocated for work but, that is just one more logistical issue I'm not trying to figure out today.) At any-rate after all of the waiting we have already done I can't imagine waiting 2 years to start the adoption process! :hissy: :hissy:
We have looked into private & home equity loans/lines of credit and borrowing against a 401K, and (very small) employer adoption assistance programs. (We don't want to count on the adoption tax credit still being around once we finalize. ) But, keeping our savings up & loans to a minimum is ideal with all of the added expenses a baby will be bringing.
We realize it could take a long time to be matched. But, my wife isn't hot on starting the process and possibly needing to come up with the rest of the money in a short then predicted time frame. She is also NOT hot on the idea of asking friends, family and so forth for help. I my self would drop my pride off the edge of cliff if it helped us get closer to growing our family.
Anyway, back to my question
1) How do you guys feel about funding raising or asking for donations? Things I should consider?
2) What about setting up something like [url=http://www.gofundme.com]Raise Money for YOU! How to raise money on your donation website![/url] This would allow friends, family, acquaintances, businesses and so forth to donate at will.
3) If you or your partner were uncomfortable about asking for financial help did you (they) ever get past it? How?
3) How to deal with family members that have the resources to donate but tend to speak out of turn & keep it up for years? (IE a mother in law that says things like of course you wouldn't adopt a baby with "major" disabilities or well a "white" baby would be easier.) :confused: :mad:
Thanks in advance for any constructive feed back! :thanks:
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I am in MA if you want to PM me. If you are thinking of relocating though I would seriously figure that out first bc you don't want to do a HS twice! Also, there are very, very few instate placements in MA (ours was but SW said it was very rare) so i think a lot of agencies here have to make connections in other states. Good luck again.
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viannqueen
I personally would support someone trying to raise funds for their domestic adoption if they were providing a service or a product. But I kind of see domestic adoption as a choice, just as surrogacy or extensive/ expensive fertility treatments are a choice and no I wouldn't be willing to donate outright to a domestic situation. I do donate when I can to families international adoptions because I believe in the cause and honestly, most people aren't lined up to adopt those children.
I also have to tell you that I would not buy into whatever agency, attorney or facilitators that are telling you that most normal situations are going in the 35-50K range!!!! I see from your profile you are in Mass, if situations in your area are pushing past 35K I would pursue adoption with an agency in another state where the cost of living is much lower. Or only accept situations in other states where likely the costs will be lower. I'm sorry, but if a situation is pushing past 35K in my opinion agencies have to go on the hunt for families that can afford the excessive fees. Don't put up with that! It's entirely possible and realistic to be able to adopt in the 25-35K range even with including airfare and travel to another state. I'd suggest doing everything you can to save up for half the costs first- say 10-15K and then once the ball is rolling still save and take a loan out if something happens sooner than expected. But I'd highly suggest finding yourself an agency, even an agency in another state where the costs are more manageable and realistic.
Thanks for all of the ideas. I like the ideas of selling crafts. After being laid off and only finding part-time work I do have the time! Great ideas. loveajax: We did look into MA Foster Care but, the have breed restrictions on dogs. So, they are not a good match for us at this time. And you are right about the 401k interest, its a good option we will most likely be using. (Even if we raise some funds in other ways.) We would also be going with a post-placement fee agency. (maybe the same one.) Dickons: Thanks for sharing your prospective. We are saving each month (like a car payment,) make coffee & lunches at home. But might add some of your other ideas.
We've always done the Dave Ramsey plan kinda but over the last two months we caved and finally did his envelope system. We sat down and made a pretty strict budget, put cash in envelopes according to the budget, and we didn't spend anything that wasn't in an envelope somewhere. If we were at the end of the month and needed another $5 for something at the grocery store, we either didn't get it or we took $5 out of another envelope, but either way we did not get out more cash from the bank. The first month we spend $600 less on items from the grocery, going out, and clothing (the three budget busters we have that aren't 'fixed' expenses as opposed to utilities, cable, etc) than what we had averaged for the previous 7 months in those categories. The second month we spent $550 less. It will not take long and I will be able to pay cash for hardwood floors throughout our house YAY!I would try to do something like this for a while and see how it goes. I would also try to find other agencies that have lower fees. It will be really hard (I wish I had a recommendation for you on that) but if you are able to find something that is considerably cheaper and in the meantime have saved up a ton, it won't seem so daunting for you when you do get the process started.
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loveajax
A loan from a 401(k) is not a bad idea...you pay the interest back to yourself, kwim?
Hi there! We were in the exact situation! Luckily we ended up having my grandma help us somewhat, but still needed to come up with a large amount of money. We looked down the same roads you did. We did a mix of things to earn money. Cut out cable and other bills as soon as we realized that we needed to save save save... We were very open with those we are close with about the cost and they became our advocate. They spoke to people they knew and were able to gather items to sell on craiglist etc. i know how frustrating it is, when you just want to become a mommy and daddy, and money plays such a huge factor at the VERY beggining... GOOD LUCK
Personally, we did not feel comfortable "fundraising" for our son's adoption. We saved every penny we could (we also follow Dave Ramsey's plan), but honestly felt that there were still sacrifices we could have made to save more. For example, we kept $200/mo as spending money, paid for satellite tv, and could've cut to a cheaper phone plan. I couldn't, in good conscience, ask anyone else to give us money towards adoption if we weren't doing absolutely everything within our power to save on our own. It was a personal conviction. I agree with others that selling a product or service and committing that money to your adoption expenses is fine. We considered doing something like this, but never got it together before DS was born. (Plus our expenses were shy of $20k, so we didn't end up needing additional funds.)
We did, however, have two families gift us money specifically for adoption. It was not solicited, and came as a complete surprise to us. Both families have adopted as well, so they understood our position, and they were in unique positions to be able to help us. We graciously accepted both gifts, knowing that there were no strings attached (beyond using the money towards adoption expenses) and that there would be no awkwardness with the gift givers. I would be leary of accepting a financial gift from anyone who you think would see their contribution as a way to control or impress their ideals upon your family. In other words, if MIL gives you $1,000, is she going to question what "kind" of child her money is helping bring into your family? Will she bring it up at Sunday dinner or at thanksgiving? Strings like that are NOT worth the financial benefit, IMO.
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ARoseByAnyName
Personally, we did not feel comfortable "fundraising" for our son's adoption. We saved every penny we could (we also follow Dave Ramsey's plan), but honestly felt that there were still sacrifices we could have made to save more. For example, we kept $200/mo as spending money, paid for satellite tv, and could've cut to a cheaper phone plan. I couldn't, in good conscience, ask anyone else to give us money towards adoption if we weren't doing absolutely everything within our power to save on our own. It was a personal conviction. I agree with others that selling a product or service and committing that money to your adoption expenses is fine. We considered doing something like this, but never got it together before DS was born. (Plus our expenses were shy of $20k, so we didn't end up needing additional funds.)
Two months into our adoption process, my husband left his job. While he was making money doing some side things (ebay etc) we didn't feel right just asking for money.
We had already been doing Dave Ramsey for 7 years and just finished paying off our house (thank goodness) so we went back and cut even more from our budget - cable, etc. We had $10,000 in savings but still had to find $18,000.
We raised $5,200 with a garage sale and then the majority of it came from freelance work I did over the course of the year.
I speak frequently on the subject and basically break it down into 4 steps
1) Look at your budget and trim everything you can
2) Explore secondary income sources (part-time jobs, selling stuff on ebay etc)
3) Apply for grants (check out the Adoption Toolkit at resources4adoption.com - 60+ grants
4) Fundraising
There are seriously DOZENS of ways to fundraise. The key is to finding things that work for you. In your case, things that feel less like asking for money maybe - like sales. Do a coupaide.com fundraiser where friends can buy restaurant.com gift certificates and you benefit. Just Love Coffee Roasters, an Amazon.com affiliate account (know a family that made $1,800 that way).
If you end up needing a loan (hopefully you don't - I know lots of families that have fundraised $30,000) there are interest free adoption loans available. Check out those first.
Affording adoption is something I blog about so check out my site and hopefully you'll find some stuff that works for you. Here's the direct link to my "affording adoption" posts - [url=http://juliegumm.com/category/affording-adoption/]Julie Gumm – Affording Adoption[/url]
Julie Gumm
Author, "Adopt Without Debt: Creative Ways to Cover the Cost of Adoption"
Our "raising funds" was a garage sale. Our twist was that we did ask friends and family if they would be willing to donate items they had but were not using or did not want around anymore. It worked fabulously and covered a homestudy.
Everything else we saved before and during the processes.We did not want to do a loan because paying for formula, day care, medical care adds on to the usual budget anyway. As it was, we lived quite lean for many years having essentially handed over any financial "cushion" in fees.
I will also say that the urgency that you feel will help get you through. In both adoptions I would have moved mountains to make it happen. Most important, do what works for you.
Funding is the hardest thing. We're comfortable but not rich by any means, and I'm insisting we have the majority of funds before we start, because I'm neurotic like that.
Currently, we have a separate savings account that we add bits and pieces of savings to when we can. We intend to start putting real chunks of money in it starting in January, when my business should finally be turning a profit. The plan is to live off one income and saving every dime I make.
I plan to have a fundraiser next summer, probably online using GoFundMe. I'm not counting on it and I'm sure I'll catch flack for it, but I'll live.
My inlaws have offered to give us every dime we need for this, but DH and I just can't bring ourselves to let them pay for it all. We'll happily let them contribute, but we want this to be something that we did ourselves. We're strange that way.
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My husband's sister is looking into doing a fundraiser, but I'm not sure I will be comfortable with it. We are going to cut costs like crazy, and I'm going to sell some antiques I was given. After the adoption tax credit and my husband's company helping out, we need to come up with about $17,000. Luckily, my in-laws are in the position to loan us the money and we are paying them back with no interest.
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