overwhelming

I am too new at this to give much advice. In our county you can ask your CW for a lifebook, and they provide a basic binder with forms. You might ask and see if your county has such a thing. If you are going through CPS I don't think you'll need a lawyer. I don't know for certain, but it seems to me the parties involved get a case plan. A staffing is a meeting to decide on the most qualified adoptive parents for the children. This isn't an adoption situation yet is it? TPR is termination of parental rights. I don't know what preparing the packet is. I haven't heard that one yet. Do you know what the goal for the kiddos might be?

Okay, let's see if I have this straight. It sounds as if your ds and the kids mom were never married, so he is not legally the step-parent of the kids. It also sounds as if he has been involved with the kids since very early on and that their biological dad(s) has never been involved in their lives. He has fulfilled the role of dad for these children. Okay, so far? I don't understand why you, if you completed the STARS classes as kinship placement, should have to complete anything else to be respite providers. It may be different where you are, but where I am it would cover you. If not, as you know, you need to submit the paperwork as quickly as possible. It doesn't appear necessary to hire an attorney yet, although, from what you have written I don't understand what you would want the attorney to do. Are you trying to gain permanent custody? If not, there should be no reason for an attorney on your part. There are multiple kinds of staffing. Not all have to do with tpr (termination of parental rights). It could be a meeting for cps to decide what their next move will be - will they continue to offer mom services, will they talk with atty's to move forward with tpr, do they think ds is the most appropriate placement for the children at this time, etc. Preparing the packet could, and this is just an educated guess, mean they are getting all their ducks in line, so to speak, for requesting tpr on mom. It is unusual for cps to file tpr on one parent and not the other, but it can happen. If this is the case, is your son prepared to formally adopt these children? If not, they may be preparing a packet that would include information for a potential adoptive placement. All this depends upon several factors, is the plan tpr, adoption, continued placement with ds or something else. It's hard to say with the information given. A Lifebook is generally done for each child when the case goes to adoption. It is different that a scapbook. The Lifebook is prepared by the caseworker and has photos and the story of the childs' life to that point in time. It is a way for the child to have their history, as known to the cw/cps as well as pictures (if available) of the child with their parent(s). I doubt that the scrapbooks you have made via Snapfish will be needed in court. I would make them available to the cw for the children to have though. You mention that the children think mom is away 'growing up'. How old are the children? Depending upon their ages, it may be time to gently start letting them know the truth about mom. If they are school age, it is very possible some child that they play with may hear/overhear something from their parent(s) about their mom and it could get passed on to them. I hope the case gets settled as quickly as possible for these children.

It has not gone to adoption yet but is heading there. I will likely be the one to pay the lawyer and then our son will reimburse us when the state reimburses him. I do not need the laywer I just have the cash. The staffing question was from something I read here. It has not been brought up with the case. 2 kids are 3 and 5 Mom has gotten involved in drugs. She thought she was going to prison but a deal was made to get the bigger fish. She did not meet any of her goals instead went downhill. She could have visited but did not because she did not want a drug test. She signed the TPR and it has been finalized. They have said they will do the 2 bio dads seperate because one just showed up when his taxes were garnished so why should the other get extra time. One reason mom signed was ds will adopt. How do you tell a child Mom made drugs more important than they were. So when asked we have said some people just need more time to learn to be a grown up. Then she spiraled down hill. What is the right age to tell a child ? For now the therapist says it is a good thing to say and she approved. There is no doubt they will be permanently placed with our son. Sure enough that the case worker discussed good ways for the 5 yr old let her friends know of her last name change when it finally happens. I suppose soon words like birth father and adoption need to be introduced. But the men are not really in the picture they just refuse to sign. so now does not seem to be the time. I do not see our son putting together a book of pictures from earlier times though he has them. Being a single father takes up most of the waking hours. LOL So I thought I would step in and do it for them

Depending on which county you are in, your son will not have to pay the attorney up front......IF he chooses one who works with Children's Division and does a lot of foster care adoptions. The only thing we paid up front out of pocket was the adoption filing fee (around $300). The attorney we chose billed the state directly for her fee and we never had to pay her anything. She also turned in the cost we paid for our filing fee and we were reimbursed for that from the state. But, of course, not all attorneys will do that, but some will. So I recommend he check around with different attorneys. If TPR has already been granted, he can contact an attorney now. Most attorneys don't really want to begin a case until TPR is done. (Why bother with a case if TPR will drag out is their thought I think.) Our attorney, though, went ahead and got paperwork ready for us before the TPR ruling came through because she was wanting to stay on top of things and try to get our adoption finalized before year end last year. As far as the staffing, it probably will not apply in your case. A staffing is a team meeting to decide who the adoptive parents will be. There appears to be no question here that your DS will adopt, so no need for a staffing. Preparing the packet, in your case, probably means the adoption packet. Getting all the required documents for court. They would get the subsidy contract together and signed. The subsidy contract must be signed & approved before the adoption. (I am assuming they may have already done this part?) The lifebook is for the kids. It does tell their story. A great lifebook will begin when they were born and includes biological family- no matter how awful they were and no matter how little you know. This gives the kids a basis later to know where they came from. Older kids can help complete their own lifebook. Younger children need the adult to complete it. My personal feeling is that lifebooks may change and evolve as the children grow. It can be a great tool to talk about their feelings about their adoption, about bio family, etc. As far as doing the bio dads' TPR separate, that may just be a logistical thing. If they can get one done now, why not. I am assuming the other dad is not even in the picture to get served for TPR? If so, they will have to publish notice and that takes at least 45 days. So if the other one showed up, they could go ahead and TPR that one- and just publish on the other one. And as Withay state, lifebooks are not for court, they are for the kids. Good luck- hope the rest of your journey goes smoothly!

Thank you that helped alot. It also gave me a job to gather all those pictures I can. And set up a way to make their family tree.

Good luck on getting those pictures. It can be hard. We never really had any type of contact with AD's paternal bio family. The only pictures I have of him are the few bad ones bio mom had on her FB page at one time (I think he may have been high) and his mugshots I found online. I figure that's better than nothing though for when DD gets older and has questions.