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I have an 18-year old son, adopted at age 15. He is an amazing son: kind and loving and a wonderful influence on his younger cousins.I recently learned that a sibling group (16yo girl and 12-yo boy) that we know is available for adoption. They were in a potential-adoptive home for 2 years, and the home lost their license. We know the kids from being involved with foster care events and we've met them 5+ times. From what I know, the kids did nothing wrong to cause this disruption, it was a problem with the the adults. I know that I'm SO lucky to have such a successful older child adoption already, and before now I haven't seriously considered adopting again. An I nuts to inquire? Are these things a problem: - Am I nuts to test my luck by adopting again, when I feel like I got SO LUCKY with my son?- Will it be considered a problem to place a 16-yo girl with my 18-yo son in the family? I am honestly not concerned because my son has appropriate boundaries with his teenage cousins, but could it be perceived as a problem? Am I naive to not be concerned? - I have an active homestudy for 2 kids. I am willing and financially able to quickly acquire a home with an additional bedroom, but would this be an impediment to being approved (i.e. would I have to be living in a new home with the appropriate # of bedrooms before inquiring)?
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I dont think you are crazy for wanting to help those kiddos. Obviously you have been successful in raising a teenager and if those kids need you and you are really that interested, what could it hurt to just inquire and see what happens. You never know until you try. Maybe you could do respite for them at first. Just a thought. :)
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We submitted an inquiry a week ago. Can't hurt to find out more, right? We contacted our previous case worker, who contacted the kids' worker, but we still haven't heard back. How long should is reasonable to wait for at least some kind of contact form the CW? I'd be happy with a "Got your message, I'll be in touch."I know that a week's wait is comparatively very short, but the kids have been recently uprooted, so I am hoping they will try to find permanency very quickly.
IMO, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Here's my motto and it's been my motto for years...AND, it's served me well.
If you call them and they basically tell you to 'Go to XXXX'.......you're no worse off than you were before.....
I've found if you call and keep your name out there, you're more likely to be considered AND phoned. Cw'ers are NOTORIOUS for NOT getting back to potential parents---at least in the state I'm familiar with. You'd think they honestly don't care too much for finding new homes for children. (Don't even get me started on this one.)
So yeah, I'd call them back and I'd say, "Hey look......I know you're very busy; but my family has met and been with these kids several times and we think we'd be a good placement (adoptive home, etc).'
How can anyone turn that down---at least with some discussion for consideration.
Good luck! You're doing the right thing by being persistent.
Sincerely,
Linny
I couldn't find a number for the CW but I did find her email address, so I sent off a polite email introducing myself and saying that I don't know if it's a good fit but we're interested in starting a discussion.
What I got back was an incredibly unfriendly response whose not-so-subtle undertone was "go away".
It looks first person I contacted (my previous CW) must have talked to her supervisor about the lack of response, which I suppose explains the hostility.
There could be many legitimate reasons that we're not the right placement for this pair, but the blatant hostility was uncalled for. I did reply, Cc'ing her supervisor (who I hope will note CW's tone). As long as I have an enemy, I might as well do something to deserve it.
Thanks for your advice Linny. After 11 days of no response, I was squeeky enough to get an email. It basically shut me down, quite rudely, closing the door for any conversation. Follow up questions were ignored by both SW and her supervisor. So I was pretty peeved both that I had to ask multiple times to get a response, and that when it came, it was so openly hostile. I guess I complained to the right people, though because today I hear that the boss of the boss of her supervisor (way high up there) wants a phone call to discuss. I have some talking points, but anything you would say if you had the ear of someone in a position of power? At this point it's much bigger than wanting to find out about the kids we inquired about. It's the fact that a single person can put up a roadblock, and is not accountable to anyone.
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Thanks for asking for an update Sheena! I guess they already had a family in mind for the kiddos, and it seems like a good one (from what I can tell from Girl-16's facebook, I haven't seen them since Dec.) so that sort of explains why the social worker wasn't eager to respond. I'm happy that they got permanency so quickly, even if it's not with me. (Still, it would be nice if they had been polite!)I did have a meeting with the high-up person and talked how unprofessional the SW was, and a few overall concerns about the way things work. She sent the SW for a little bit of extra training which sort of made my day. Does that make me vindictive? :)
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