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BMTexas
It wasn't an either or situation for me. Abortion was never an option for me because that would go against what I believed about God and life. I chose adoption rather than parenting myself because at the time there were like several couples in the church who wanted a baby but had tried and it hadn't happened for them. I guess I was like a long awaited answer to prayer for them, the couple that I chose. At least that's what the adopting mother told me. But what I resent more than anything is her relaying the idea that God had planned for me to come to their church because "God knew we wanted a baby." It just made me mad that she thought the only reason God sent me to their church was to give them a baby. Absurd! Totaly unfeeling and absurd! I don't think I want to know a God who had such a plan as that for me-the only reason for my existance as a woman was to give other women *my* children.
R.
:grouphug:
Hi R./BMTexas,
I think that is very dismissive of your decision and your experience. I'm sorry the A-parents frame it in those terms. I think doing so puts an ideological wall up that prevents them from seeing the full picture of what happened, including your loss and pain, your power of decision and the circumstances you were in that influenced what you chose.
You and your child are not God's pawns shuffled around by divine whim to fulfill other people's prayers.