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I have had A for 2 months, and it has become apparent to me that I just don't love this kiddo, like I have felt love for other kiddos in my care. The bio parents aren't making any positive changes, so I highly doubt he will be reunited with them.
Do I tell his SW now that I am not an adoptive home for him, so she can start looking?
Then there is the guilt I feel, how am I to handle that? I am capable of providing a roof and food for this lil kiddo, but I just don't have that gut feeling that I can love him forever. But I don't want him to be bounced around or put into a home not as stable, as he is a highly emotional kid.
UGH. I feel stuck. I don't know what to do.:(
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It sounds like you are relatively certain that you are not a good permanent solution for him. In that case, you should definitely tell the worker so that a more appropriate match can be made if it is looking like the plan is headed in a direction other than reunification. Be honest with the cw about how long you think you can keep the placement and don't let yourself be pressured by the guilt. Ultimately it's not in anyone's best interest to maintain a placement that is not a good fit.
We have a FS who is not the right fit for us. We've had him for 10 months. At first it looked like he was headed home, so we just sucked it up. (He wasn't bad & didn't have any major issues, he just is not a good fit for us.) When it looked like he was not going to be going home we had that talk with the CW - we let her know that we were NOT interested in adopting, but we also wanted what was best for him & didn't necessarily want him shuffled from home to home. So, they started looking into a family member out of state. This took all summer and into the fall (her getting her house approved, etc) and then, just 2 weeks ago she decided she could not take him. They started talking about moving him to another home, hopefully a pre-adoptive home (but just a regular foster home if they couldn't find one) and we really considered it - we know how long it can take to find the right pre-adoptive home and we just didn't think we could handle him for another year or so. Luckily, they just "found" another potential family member, so we don't have to make that decision yet.Our problem is that we feel so guilty about moving him to another home & potentially damaging him that we are willing to make our lives uncomfortable. It stinks and it's a hard decision. But if I were you I would mention it to the CW and see what the potential options are for him.