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I had an intake interview today to establish therapy for Cricket. (This has been on my "do in Fall when insurance kicks in" list for months - not in response to my recent post.) What I wanted was family counseling, you know, like marriage counseling, where everyone is an equal participant, but that's not how they do it apparently. I want to give this place a try because they are highly recommended, but I'm open to the idea that we may need to try several therapists before we find the right fit. Are there providers who do family-style therapy? Is that even a thing?
But anyhow, Cricket will be the primary client at this time. We have the first appointment scheduled for Wednesday. I think this will be his first therapy ever. He saw a psych before, but only for his Adderall scrip. Any suggestions for how to introduce the idea of therapy to a 6-year-old? Intake doc said to just tell him we're going to the doctor, but I feel like that's misleading. He knows what a medical visit is like 'cause we do enough of them, heaven knows. If I said that it was a doctor visit, he'd just be confused about why he didn't get measured or weighed or have his ears looked at. I've had students whose parents tell them they're going to the "feelings doctor". That seems... I dunno. I tend to be more of the school of calling a fig a fig. Can't I just tell him we're going to see a therapist? And that a therapist is a kind of doctor that helps us think about our thoughts, feelings, and behavior? DH had a bad experience when he was younger in that he didn't struggle with his emotions (surrounding divorce) until he was sent to a therapist and then felt something was "wrong" with him. I feel like kitty-cat-footing around the idea of therapy could contribute to that.
I'd love your thoughts and experience.
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I'm one of the few (or at least I feel that way) parents who like to tell it how it is. My son is also six and when he's going for a shot, we tell him. When our son is going to the dentist, we tell him. I don't think there's anything wrong with telling your son he's going to see a therapist or you can say a doctor who "just talks." Put it in six year old terms. Trust your instincts because you know your child.
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You know him best, but if you can tell him that he's going to a therpist because of X,Y and Z. The therapist is a different kind of doctor(which they are) and they help us just like the dr who gives us medicines. Words can be medicine too. If necessary explain to him that it isn't a punishment or because he's bad, it's to help him and you get better together as a family.
Thanks for the support. I was straightforward with him. We had our first appointment tonight and it went well. No miracles or anything, but I don't hate the therapist (and I'm a tough sell with any clinician), and he spoke mostly with me, just observing Cricket (and his interactions with me) and asking a few superficial questions. I'm hopeful.
I too, tend to be honest with my kids. AT my kids school the guidance counselors come to the classes and talk to the kids about bullying, peer pressure, and other life challenges for kids. When my DD started therapy, we explained that it was similar to that, in that it would be someone who she could talk to in confidence, and that may be able to give her some "tips and tricks" on how to handle different things. And because it was play therapy, she didn't feel that pressure of having to talk one on one. Most of the time she wasn't even aware that she was sharing until after the fact, LOL.
OP - we are actually looking at a practice that does just what you asked about - it's for the whole family. Of course there is individual counseling, but their whole approach is that because "it" (whatever IT may be) affects the entire family dynamic, the entire family needs the services. And I agree completely.
In our family, dd needs the therapy because she is adhd/odd/spd sprinkled with some drug exposure and its effects. The rest of our family needs the therapy because we live with her. It sounds so obvious of a need, but I was actually surprised at how difficult it was to find a practice that offered for the whole family.