In the process of state adoption

Just keep reading these boards! You will learn a tremendous amount. You might notice that some posts were made a year or more ago, so replying to them now is not going to help whoever was asking the question. If there is any way you can attend a foster or foster-to-adopt parenting group in your area, that would let you see some of the "real deal".

Hello, We are doing just straight adoption because I personally need permanancy and stability. Emotionally I wouldn't be able to handle having children come in and out of my home because it is hard for me to let go. We also don't have any children of our own so we don't have that experience that most parents have, but we feel strongly about diving right into providing a home for hard to place children because ultimately, they need a loving forever home and we have so much love to give. We went into Orientation with an open mind and my husband and I agreed that if something didn't sit right with us afterwards, we would let each other know. During orientation they were very upfront and did not sugar coat anything (which is what we thought they would do) but appreciated their honesty. They truly wanted people who were in it for the children. Now we only have 2 MAPP classes left and we know our journey is still just beginning but we keep thinking that in the end, we will be changing the lives of children who have always longed for a forever family. I would just attend an Orientation to see if it's something you really want to do and If you feel strongly about it, go for it and follow your heart :-) Goodluck & God Bless!

As an experience foster mom of hard kiddos, single adoptive mom to 3, and therapist I would strongly recommend trying foster care as well. If I went to my agency brand new and said I wanted to adopt a sibling group of 3-4 with multiple problems 1- the agency would not let me, and 2- the caseworker would never pick me because they would not think you would be able to handle it. You had only 1 kiddo in the home before, having 3-4 that is not biologically yours and have gone through trauma is a LOT different then reading all of the books.

Thank you for the responses and advice. I have finished the classes and am considering foster to adopt, but to be honest, I keep going back to state adoption. Even with only considering the legally at risk children, I have a difficult time with a few of the regulations being long-term (1)No rights to get child medical care or be involved in medical treatment plan being the main one. 2)15 CEU's needed each year because the only qualifying ones in my area are mid-day once a month and taking 4 hours off in the middle of the day once a month is going to eat up my PTO that would otherwise be spent with the children doing something fun 3) The children only being allowed to stay in foster approved homes. I have a great support system, but it is a bit much to ask the people willing to help you with the children to get their home DHR approved in order to babysit.) I guess I didn't mention in my post, but I have extensive experience with children including children with bipolar, autism and other challenges. Although I have fully raised only one child, I have cared for up to 6 children in my home. A sibling group ages 1, 3, 5, 15, 17 & 18 and my daughter who was 17 (for 6 months). When my daughter was six, I had temporary custody of my nieces and nephew (ages 4, 6, 6, and 9) & I have worked in a therapeutic group home as a house parent. Also, was a pre-school teacher who taught (17) 1 1/2 to 2 y/o, so I am not exactly just a mom of 1 who is thinking of doing this (but I greatly appreciate your input!). My resource worker was quite excited and seems more than willing to place 4 teens here as soon as I get the beds. I have decided that whichever route I go - foster or straight adopt - I will start small with a few children and if my family grows from there, good. If not, I will be happy doing what I felt was right to do and want to do. n the end, it is about providing a good home, life and family for children who deserve to have that. Thanks again for your responses and advice :love:

Sheena, I may want to pick your brain sometime:00 I also have a background in psych and worked in the field.

Go for it :) I am around. I work in psychiatry, and am completing my 2nd Masters in May in Criminal Justice. Next week (most likely) meeting another little girl may adopt, 7 years old in a RTC. I have 3 adopted children already as a single mom, ages 2, 4, and 11. 11 yr old and 4 yr old both have RAD in their history but since they came here the diagnosis is no longer there :)

That is great and so encouraging! I was approved today! I am so excited!!!!!! I was told the next at-risk baby they get they will be calling me :) And older children/sibling groups as well.

3 boys ages 4, 6 & 9. They keep me running, but I am loving it :)

I was shocked to see you got 3 boys when you were wanting teens. Are they legally free? How are they doing? Are all your beds full or do you have one more spot open? I am not going through another county to get licensed. Have all paperwork classes done waiting on home visits and home inspection thats it!

[url]http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/414779-situation-against-everything-i-agreed.html[/url] Check out the above post for an update. It has been a roller coaster! I still have 2 beds available, but with the oldest one's issues, I don't feel comfortable bringing other children in yet. They have a hearing in June, so they could go TPR, but definitely aren't even halfway through that process yet. And if so, not sure the 9 y/o would be adoptable for a long time, if ever. His worker spoke of possible (me) permanent foster home for 10 more years until he turns 19. It is a mess! But, a blessing, too. Thanks for checking! The middle one is now an only child in a different home, and everyone is happier since. The way he interacted with his brothers was dangerous, and DHR removed him. When not with his brothers, perfect child. What could cause that? They gave them to me because I was the only available home (3 days after my 2nd home visit they called) who would consider a sibling group of 3, literally. The workers have been great, and so encouraging. They have been happy with the way I have handled things, and although I researched, and expected the worse, and these children are nowhere near this (destructive, defiant and throw fits for hour or more at the time, and when I got them violent, but that has changed), it is harder than any research or experience can prepare you for in the trenches - 24/7, but the smles, and hugs and love somehow makes it all worthwhile! Congratulations on your progress! You're almost there!