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Most of you know the hell we have been through with our youngest daughter. If you don't search my posts. I am to exhausted to explain it. We have had two PRTF stays and one court case where I turned her in and her blonde haired blue eyed act convinced our small town county attorney we are evil. That was about a year ago.
She has started stealing again. I found the stolen stuff and reported her ( thinking doing the right thing) and they arrested her. Now it was probably $50 worth of stuff so it's a misdeamenor. Juvenile intake came, she couldn't go to juvie, didn't quality. Things have been on a downward spiral. I am worn out she is pissed I turned her in so she told she wasn't going home with me. I said well if she won't go with me I guess she can go to foster care. Well our mental health caseworker stepped in and said we can do a 48 hour respite. The juvenile intake lady was trying to get an emergency court case to hear the theft case so they put her back on probation FAST cause she will fly right on probation. So our mental health worker took her to the crisis house.
They county attorney issued an Ex parte order and DCS went and got my child w/o notifying us and took her to a foster home. I found out by accident or we would've showed up at the court hearing thinking we were going for her theft case and thinking her mental health worker would've been bringing her. They NEVER even brought my daughter. They would not return her. So our next court hearing is Dec 19th.
They told us we would automatically lose our adoption subsidy and be asked to pay child support on top of that. We will lose our house and cars. We are so tight on our budget now. Does anyone have any advice or any resources we can turn to?
I have no idea how child support in KS works, no idea what we will we asked to pay or how to fight DCS on it.
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When I got to a place I could type, I was going to suggest this as one option for you to consider. I have a local FP friend, who is also a counselor and assistant pastor, who belongs to a support group of parents of children who "couldn't be fixed" after they adopted them from foster care. They met when asked by a TV station to be on a show about how foster care adoption can go unbelievably wrong... and formed a support group from that meeting.
Getting the state to step up to care for them... really hasn't worked. The state wouldn't even give her and her spouse in-home help. Some parents have had broken bones. One family pays $100,000 plus yearly to have their daughter in residential treatment. As my friend says, they can afford it, but not many can.
In your heart you will still be related to her, whether you are legally or not, and whether she can manage to make use of your caring or not.
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These things tend to take awhile, no? If so, I would not spend the money (as it's clear it would be a financial hardship for you). Plus, she'll be 18 soon and after that she is no longer legally your responsibility.Did Linny or anyone else (trying to remember from past threads) ever send you a list of RTC's or names of groups that work with families in finding other homes, groups etc.?
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sassafras
We have two different lawyers to meet with tomorrow. The social worker said if we give up all legal rights we are not financially responsible. With her age and her issues she felt they would move her to independent living or something similar.
Kids with RAD are often good for other people (for a short while). Do you have friends/family that will take her for 2 months at a time until she turns 18? Dec/Jan with G'ma. Feb/Mar with uncle, Apr/May with friend of family. That way she won't be in any one place long enough to show her true colors.
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No one in either family will take her. They know her history too well. RTCs in Kansas are pretty much non existent. Our attorney we spoke to today said he is 95% sure they would NOT terminate our rights due to the fact she is a year from 18. He feels we spend more trying to get that done than we should pay in child support which on his worksheet says we would pay about $800. So we are pretty much screwed. Play nice and try to get her back home so we don't have to pay support and live thru hell another year or keep her in foster care destroy our credit and lose our house and vehicles. Bankruptcy will not help. We only have a few credit cards and pretty much no medical bills. And really when it comes down to it it's DCF that decides when and IF she can come home. Not us.
My experience was that you go to child support court and the judge determines the support you need to pay based on your income. The subsidy is then turned over to the state and is deducted from the payment. So if your child support payment is $500 and your subsidy is $300, then you have to payment the state $200 and the subsidy.
Sassafrass, this may sound a little bit as coming from left field, but have you considered sending your daughter to Boy's and Girl's Town in Nebraska? I've been a lifelong donor to their organization, and I have only good things to say about it. My son's parents were advised by several psychiatrists to send him to Boy's and Girl's Town when he was 13 -- I really wish they had followed that advice.
Anyhoo, I believe that Boy's and Girl's Town provides scholarships for children whose families can't afford to pay. :loveyou:
Sorry if what I typed wasn't very clear. I didn't mean to suggest that you join the support group, only to mention that I knew not just one, but a group of people who had been in very difficult situations with children they adopted. The support group is in person, not online.I do wonder about that avenue that the state misrepresented the seriousness of this child's problems to you. If there is any defense for you there. My heart goes out to you.
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The child welfare act states they cant take the subsidy unless you are providing no support and are not legally responsible. I had an SRS worker tell me if they try to take it to CALL her. We looked into Boys and Girls town but the trick there is they have to want to go and write a letter saying so. No dice. We tried.