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I swear this kid is like a jazillion piece puzzle! I cannot figure her out.
She leaves me wondering if I am loosing my mind sometimes.
I swear to you she asks for things for Christmas that are intentionally impossible to find!!!!!!
This is our fifth Christmas with her and it is the same thing every year. She comes up with these obscure items that are so specific that I cannot possibly find the item exactly as she describes it. So I get the closet thing I can find and she completely ignores the gift for the rest of the year.
I am not taking the bait this year. She has asked for black, to the knee boots that zip up the back and you can wear them folded down too, and not shiny black but not, not shiny....and they are not flat they have a heel. (honestly, I think she is too young for hooker boots anyway!) She says she has never seen these particular boots before....but somehow I am suppossed to find them somewhere! (and BTW, she knows that I am Santa) She figured that out in 1st grade and told her entire class :eek: I got several angry phone calls from parents. Yay.
I promise my kids are not spoiled. We are very conservative. Everything they have is a bday or christmas gift or they earned the money to buy it.
Why are these two still so entitled???
The school has a Christmas store to buy gifts for your family. My kids have no interest in buying anything for anyone else. They go in there and steal stuff for themselves and beg their friends to buy them stuff. :mad: They have so much already. why is it never enough?
My bio 18 year old has a sense of entitlement also. I have no idea how that happened, it just happened.
If my daughter asked for something like that I would just laugh. I would not even try to find them. I would just say good luck finding them and get her something completely different.
I keep Christmas present expectations low. I don't buy them very much at all. When they were little I would buy them all kinds of things and they learned to expect it. That is when I stopped.
Is she too young to gift card? Maybe just get her a couple things and allow her to shop with a gift card for her big present.
I wish I had more advice about the self-entitlement but I haven't been able to master that with my own child so I am not in a place to give another parent advice. If you figure it out you can tell me.
BTW, with clothes it gets harder as they get older because they get more specific in what they like and don't like. I stopped buying my daughter clothes in middle school. I just take her with me, otherwise she might just not even wear it.
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The way I have handled it in the past is to just pick things out that I see that remind me of her or that I think she would like. It works pretty well.
I am NOT asking for a list anymore. I don't ask them what they want because it just sets us up for frustration.
They usually have money given to them by relatives that they shop with. she does the same thing when we get ready to go shopping. She starts describing some specific thing that she is looking for that is going to be impossible to find. Then I take her to the store and tell her if she can't find something she wants the money can go into her savings account. (which will not be drawn out until college :D ) She quickly finds all kinds of things she likes!
I don't even want to think about clothes shopping with her. ahhhhhhh
Tell her you need the website address or the catalog page. If it's not in a catalog, Santa's not bringing it.
Maybe she wants you to have someone special design these black boots for her? ;)
myForeverkids3
I think she is too young for hooker boots anyway!
LOL! this left me wondering what IS the right age for hooker boots!
i teach a bunch of kids with a huge sense of entitlement. i have no idea how or why they got it. i suspect it's sometimes a symptom of their feelings about themselves not measuring up. over-compensation maybe?
it's tough. and i'm sorry.
greenrobin
LOL! this left me wondering what IS the right age for hooker boots!
i teach a bunch of kids with a huge sense of entitlement. i have no idea how or why they got it. i suspect it's sometimes a symptom of their feelings about themselves not measuring up. over-compensation maybe?
it's tough. and i'm sorry.
HAAAAA Thanks for the laughs greenrobin.
I think you might be on to something there. Over-compensating?
I also think that my dd has a constant war going on inside her. She seems to try every way she can to make things miserable. She wants to be happy but it just doesn't feel right. SO, if she asks for something that is impossible to find then she is not getting what she really wanted.
It's like she doesn't want to give me the satisfaction of buying her that perfect gift that she just loves. She likes me as the villan and I keep ruining it!
But, then again, it's all a big puzzle that keeps getting messed up every time I get close to figuring it out!
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you know, dysfunctional can mean that we do things to sabotage the good things in our lives not because we want to but because it's what's familiar.
it can be a way to self-punish.
btdt.
it takes a whole lot of willpower and therapy to change, to decide that you actually deserve the good stuff. it can feel like a panic attack sometimes when you try to change, like you just might die if you let go. that's why it can be so hard to change your response.
i know, right?
praying for you, sister!