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Looking For My Parents Is Something I Have Questioned For A Long Time I Mean I Always Wanted To Be In A Position That If I Were To Reunite With Them They Could Look At Me And Say They Are Proud Of What I Have Become. I Am To That Point In My Life Where I Just Want To Find Them And Meet Them And See What All I Have Come From. There Has Always Been An Open Void About Me And I Have Never Really Known What That Void Was. I Believe Now That It May Be The Void Of Not Knowing My Birth Parents. Not Really Sure How This Site Works Just Yet Or If This Is Right For Me Just Yet. So Any Guidance In How To Do Things Or What Steps I Could Take To Help Fill That Void Will Be Greatly Apreciated.
Lsus
07/06/1988
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Hi Soup,I felt a void, also, and finding my natural parents was one thing that helped me. There was still a certain void -- a different kind -- after I found them, though, so there are other issues that can cause that feeling. What will help you to feel more fulfilled might vary. FWIW, I'm finding it difficult to read what you write if you capitalize every word.
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I didn't know what the draw was to search for my birth family either, until someone summed it up for me in one sentence..."you're needing to fill in the empty spaces in you that nothing else will."
Of course, that's a little vague in and of itself, but when she said it I had one of those little "AHA!" moments where the light bulb goes on and the whole bit.
Not everyone feels this way of course, but for me and I imagine for some others she was exactly correct. It can take many forms...wanting to know where we come from, wondering if we resemble anyone else, and so on...but at the end of the day it's filling in the empty spaces inside that no amount of anything else ever really can address. So if you're like me, then the beginning of trying to fill that void would be to search for and (hopefully) find your birth family.
Exactly how to go about that, I'll leave to others on the site who are much smarter about how to do that than me. LOL...
Best,
PADJ
I have just finished a book called Candle in the Mirror by Erin Altrama which tells of an adopted persons search. It is worth reading because of the scenes from our shared humanity. Not all adoption searches are the same but there are always similarities in the emotional roller coaster. I found it on Amazon to download.