For all in process families

I found a fascinating website last night. It sheds some light on what is going on with the adoption ban. If you read back to December 24 as to what the author thinks might happen, I am not sure about you but the not knowing and not getting answers is what is frustrating now. At least seeing the author thinks the ban will last for one year and the Russians are looking for the U.S. response gives us peace of mind (more peace of mind than anything else we've seen on the news or internet). [url=http://rebeccajmarinecorpswife.blogspot.com/]Our Marine Corps Family, Russian Language and Russian Cooking Blog[/url]

Nina, thanks for posting the link for the Russian Blog, very insightful....makes it seem like there is still a glimmer of hope...now if only someone would step up and smooth things over with russia

Excellent blog...all recent posts are definitely informative. We DO need to remember to gracious despite our pain and work with our Senators and federal government to press Russia to work with us. I have a feeling we have a good wait ahead us of to see where this is all going to go, so hang it there! Hopefully answers will come sooner than later and we can all decide how to proceed. :confused:

It's heartbreaking to see all of this. I saw one blog that had a link to a news story. Apparently one family that rushed and went to court he very end of December thought they were one of the 6 or 7 families that are going to get to bring their kids home and then they found out they probably aren't going to be able to bring her home. I can't even begin to imagine. [url=http://marinecorpswife-russianadoptivemom.blogspot.com/]Our Russian Adoption Blog[/url]

My thoughts are with all of you impacted by this. Thanks for sharing the links. I really enjoyed the non angry, rational information. :-) Understanding the laws and what's going on in Russia really helps me understand this latest action.

Thank you so much for your kind words of support for those of us who are currently in process and struggling to understand how to deal with the impact of the new Russian Law. On behalf of all the families currently in process, I would respectfully ask for your support in contacting your members of Congress and the Senate regarding the following information: Opportunity for Members of Congress to Sign Letters to Presidents Putin and Obama Members of Congress have a short window of opportunity to sign on to two letters regarding Russia's recent decision to ban adoptions to the United States. The first letter is to President Vladimir Putin of Russia and the second is to President Obama. Both letters appeal to each leader to recognize the basic human rights of these children and all children in Russia to a family and to work to resolve both the pending cases of children who were in the adoption process prior to the January 1, 2013 ban. Senator Roy Blunt and Congressional Coalition on Adoption Co-Chairs Senator Landrieu, Senator Inhofe, Representative Bachmann and Representative Karen Bass are currently circulating these letters for signature by their colleagues, with a deadline to sign on to these letters of tomorrow, Wednesday, January 16 at 12pm EST. Please contact your Senators and Representative today and urge them to sign on to these letters and lend their support to Russia's children. Offices interested in signing on should contact Libby Whitbeck in Senator Landrieu's office or Kristina Weger in Senator Blunt's office. You can find your Senators' phone numbers and email address at [url=http://www.senate.gov]U.S. Senate[/url] You can find your Representatives' phone numbers and email address at [url=http://www.house.gov]The United States House of Representatives House.gov[/url] Please distribute this information widely to your friends and family, requesting they also contact their Members of Congress prior to Wednesday, January 16 at 12pm EST. Thank You!!!

Was anybody on the State Dept / USCIS call today? What were your thoughts? I thought it was completely depressing. Today was like December 28 all over again. The only bright point was that maybe the Moscow forum taking place on Thursday might help generate some positive media in Russia. I was also completely dumbfounded that the U.S. response is that our VP talked to the FM of Russia last weekend. That did not give me any confidence that this is being taken seriously.

Yes, I caught the last half of the call. It is depressing. Yesterday I got the call from my agency that our case has been officially rejected by the judge in Volgograd. I guess they have to go through all cases and make a decision one way or another. I don't get the feeling any are going to be approved at all if they did not go to court before the ban was in place. The judge was sorry but cannot legally rule otherwise. So in 15 days, our would-be son will go back on the database and will be referred to other waiting families. In a way we have closure, but it is heart wrenching. They said we have 15 days to file an appeal with a Russian attorney, but there are no guarantees. It is a law...it's not like the judge could make any other decision without some amendment to the law. Not sure if we should jump on the bandwagon with the appealing families or just let him go and move on. It's such a hard decision. As much as I want him, I don't want to ruin his chances of ever getting out of the orphanage by keeping him stuck in this appeal case....especially when it will likely not work anyway. His chances grow smaller the older he gets. Oh, why did this have to happen like this. This was supposed to be the week we bring him home.

Votemom, were you able to eventually adopt on a third attempt with a different country? I am so sorry to hear about 2 failed Russian adoptions. If Russia does not work out, it will also be our 2nd failed attempt (first attempt was from another country who raised the min age to 8 or more). Gatheringarrows, my heart goes out to you and I weep for you as well. Our adoption agency sent out a letter yesterday stating that they have drawn a line in the sand which is March 15. They believe by then Russia should have sorted out how they are going to proceed with any families who had not gone to court yet. They felt those who had made the first trip stood the best chance of moving forward. We had not received a referral yet. I think we are still numb from this whole horrible situation. Not sure what to do. Wait 5 more weeks and see what happens. My spouse does not want to change countries. Our agency also offers a program with Poland. Has anyone heard anything (good or bad) about adopting from Poland? I saw last year there were 52 children adopted from there to the U.S. which seems so small. What if they close their doors, too? I heard that EU countries like Latvia and the Ukraine are looking to close their doors on U.S. adoptions within the next 6 months. That was on the Marine Corps Adoption blog. Has anyone heard from her anymore? She went private and then hasn't posted anything in over 2 weeks. One of her last posts talked about being very sick and also someone was threatening her. I hope she is o.k. I talked with our social worker yesterday, not with our adoption agency, and she said not to quit. Keep trying. The only ones who end up without a child are the ones who quit. But she also said not to consider domestic adoption. Too much risk (scams, abuse, etc.). It's all so confusing. What is God trying to teach us?

Also I sent an email to Sec of State Kerry. Maybe if he can try to work with Russia and make a new start, maybe that will lead to progress. Just wanted to offer that. At least it feels like we have not given up. Praying for all of us in this situation that God's will is done.

Senator Amy Klobucher worked on the Russian adoption delays in the past and has posted on her Facebook page that she is again. She may be another contact in Washington for those of you in process. Prayers going out to all of you as you navigate your way through this and for the children in Russia who wait.

Waiter, I just contacted Sen Klobuchar. Thank you! She sounds amazing. Very supportive and actually trying to help. My senator has not been helpful stating that the Dept of State is already working on this..... This is why I have contacted a number of senators, the Russian ambassador, etc. Praying for a miracle. Thanks again for the tip.

I don't understand this comment. It sounds like someone parroting information when they really don't know a lot about domestic adoption. I don't see any more risk in domestic adoption than what you're dealing with in international adoption. Scams are not common if you stick with an agency or reputable attorney. I wouldn't start a plan with a stranger I met on the internet as that's where most of the scams seem to originate. Yes, 1 in 5 infant adoptions fall through due to the mom changing her mind. But personally, I don't see this as riskier than where you are right now. I don't mean this as criticism - it's genuine confusion for me. I don't see the difference between adopting an older child internationally from an orphanage and adopting an older child from US foster care. In both situations, there has been at best neglect, and at worst abuse. In both cases, it's common for the officials to not share the extent of problems that exist (sometimes maybe they don't realize). In both cases you need to be prepared for adjustment and attachment issues. With that in mind, how is domestic adoption riskier than international? I'm not saying that you should adopt domestically. I think that's a decision each individual needs to make for themselves. I don't judge anyone's decision to adopt internationally, domestically, infant or older child. It's really about what is best for your family. And I truly feel for each of you stuck in limbo. I just don't understand the idea that international is less risky. It looks to me like it has just as much risk but less disclosure of the risk as you don't know when a country will decide to close down adoptions. Honestly, I have to wonder if your SW will lose out on money if you go domestic. I can't understand any other reason other than ignorance to suggest that you shouldn't even look at it. We adopted domestically last year, an infant. We started the process, had one failed placement, and finalized all within 12 months. Now I know it's not that fast for everyone and many people wait longer for an infant. But if you're already looking at adopting a non-infant, then it might be worth looking at domestic, unless it means losing too much of what you've already paid due to not getting a refund.

My social worker has been working as a SW for over 30 years. From her experience about 60% of the birth mothers that she works with change their mind once the child is born. This is actually a good thing because the birth mother gets support from her family once the child is born. The family takes one look at the child and decides they want to help the baby. This is a VERY GOOD thing. But at the same time, she can site examples where the birth mother is a prostitute, on drugs, trying to scam two agencies at once, etc. These are the types of risks she is concerned about. Then after the child is born the birth mother wants to stay involved, email, receive updates, keep in touch via facebook, etc. These are some of the reasons why we chose (for our family) that domestic is not a route for us but that does not mean it would not work out for others who may be fine with an open adoption. Also, this is a lot of what happens in the area where we live and may not be the case in other areas of the country. From everything that we have researched and seen since 2007, there is a huge difference between adopting an older child overseas who has lived in an orphanage his/her life and a child who is an older child who is adopted in the U.S. out of foster care. In foster care where the child was removed due to abuse and has lived with several different families it is very different than a child who was raised in an orphanage (same location, multiple caregivers). I agree that it is each family's personal decision to make. Each family is in a different situation and even the reason behind why a family chooses to adopt, where they are at in the process, why they chose international adoption, etc. Our social worker is not affiliated with our adoption agency so she has no benefit at all if we remain with our agency. Actually she handles domestic adoptions and could help locate a child domestically for us but has steered us away from that. She shared many more comments with us but I do not feel comfortable sharing those publicly.

Nina2013, thank you for expounding. I know thar the average for failure is 20% and I would be concerned about working with someone on domestic adoption with that high of a failure rate because it says to me that the moms are being matched too early or else she's working with a lot of younger moms. The other piece is that when we look at anecdotal evidence often we make innaccurate conclusions based on perceptions, just human nature.I do respect your choices and don't want to make you feel like you need to defend your choice because you don't and I'm sure you get enough of that in real life. :-)I wish you the best as you decide how to proceed,