Needing some thoughts...

I only have one, and I've had some similar thoughts - not that I don't want to be a mom, but that I can't, that I'm a terrible parent/ person. Get some support. And get out without your kids as well as with them. Sometimes it's hard to feel like a person, and it seems like all you are is "mom". I know that for me, getting to be me, not just mom, makes a huge difference.