Advertisements
Ok. I'm on lunch- so I'm typing really fast so please excuse any errors you may find.
Here's our story- almost 2 years ago, we had a 2 year old boy placed with us (Who we'll call BOY) he was just taken from his bio mom. & She was all he had. He had not seen or talked to his bio dad in 8 months.
About 2 months into the case, his dad decided he wanted to take him- we has out of state so we had to do an ICPC which was denied because he didn't want to put down the beer bottle. Boy's mother fell of the face of the earth for 4 months- we were all he had- he never spoke of his mom.
He was 2 months away from his 3rd birthday, and didnt know his name, colors, numbers, wasnt potty trained and didnt know how to drink from a sippy cup. but he knew burger king and mcdonalds. anyways, his mom came back into the picture of jan 2012- doing visits only. no parenting and no drug screens. March/ April we found out she was preg. (she said she wasnt due to July) she had the baby in April. who tested posit. for drugs. she had the baby at home. she called the ER after the baby was born because she stopped breathing. about 2 months after the baby girl was born she started working on her case plan. the case manager gave her a drug screen every 45 days or so. she started unsup. visits in Sept. Well here's where it goes down hill. the mom became homeless in December. and decided it would be good to move the kids to another state to live with her sister. she isn't living there but down the street. she is leaving them in the aunts care.
the case manager always told us- they would never send the kids to the aunt because- they had no bond with them and they have never met her. well she was wrong. the judge ordered them to move 2 days before christmas! and 2 weeks before the TPR trial. keep in mind this boy has been with us for 18 months! we are ALL he knows, other than his mother who he has never really bonded with- he never called her- mom.
anyways- the judge ordered that the boy have contact with us daily to help him adjust- well the bio family refused to do this- we finally got to talk to him last night. he cried and screamed the entire time, saying he wanted to come home. he kept calling us mom and dad- his bio family kept screaming at him that we are not his mom and dad anymore- which yes is true! but that is not something u tell a 4 year old when he is stressing out!
is there anything we can do! I have seeked help but his cries seriously hurt me. I feel they are verbally and mentally abusing him. He needs comfort in the confusing time. they want him just to forget about the last 2 years of his life. which was not a horrible life- BOY knew how loved he was. had to leaving a loving family to a family where they are being forced to care for you because your blood= and i really think they treat him like that.
Please tell me I'm over reacting and just need to move on. How can I ? We love this boy. and he loves us. Hes not a piece of furniture or a puppy- hes a little boy!
Like
Share
That sounds like it would be so painful for you. I'm sorry you have to go through it.I was lucky that when my daughter was moved from me to biofamily, I didn't hear anything about how unhappy she was and how she wanted to come back. At least I didn't hear it at the time, but I read about it in the therapy reports after the biofamily messed up and she was returned to me and adopted.I'm sure it is painful for the biofamily to be essentially rejected. In the therapy reports on my daughter it said the biofamily told the therapist they wanted her to "make" my daughter love them.My daughter was much older though, 8 yrs. It must be a lot more confusing for a 4 yr old.The only comforting thought I can think of is that "BOY" will grow up and then he will understand that you had no choice.
Advertisements
If you don't have one today, go get an attorney who knows family law. You have standing as de facto parent because of the amount of time the child was with you. Did anyone on the cps side want the children to be placed with the Aunt? It sounds like they don't really want the children either.
We contacted a few attorney's no one would help us, as TPR was not granted at the time. The TPR trial was on the 7th, I do not know the outcome. The case manager for almost the entire time was against the kids going out of state. The ICPC took almost 14 months, and the entire time she was telling us it would never happen. CPS was in agreement with the move. The judge was worried because of the "transiting" (as it was never done) she order the aunt to come down to us and meet him, she did- she sung a totally different song while she was here. so wasn't true and how it has been for the last 2.5 weeks he has been away from us.
Yellowhighlighter
We contacted a few attorney's no one would help us, as TPR was not granted at the time. The TPR trial was on the 7th, I do not know the outcome. The case manager for almost the entire time was against the kids going out of state. The ICPC took almost 14 months, and the entire time she was telling us it would never happen. CPS was in agreement with the move. The judge was worried because of the "transiting" (as it was never done) she order the aunt to come down to us and meet him, she did- she sung a totally different song while she was here. so wasn't true and how it has been for the last 2.5 weeks he has been away from us.
Advertisements