Hi. I am new to this site. Here's my story. My husband and I were trying to conceive for 3 years before we found out we couldn't have kids. Lots of fertility treatments and such and still... No luck. Recently we have been looking into adoption. Are there any people out there who have adopted that can give me insight?. Is it worth the high costs, how long did the process take you, recommend open or closed adoptions? Any help would be appreciated.
Hi buccini82! I'm pretty new here myself. My hubby and I were married 6 years when we decided to adopt. And I have no regrets! It took us 2 years of waiting once we were approved through our agency (and a couple of failed placements) before we were placed with our son, which was a little over a year ago.
We have a pretty open adoption, I'm quite sure it would be even more open if we didn't live 7 hours away from our son's bparents. But we've gone over and visited them a few times in the past year, and plan to continue to do so. I recommend open (it's not as scary as you might think at first!), but it also depends on everyone involved, and what you and any possible birthparents who choose you feel comfortable with. And whether open is what's best for any children you may adopt.
We were very fortunate to go through the agency associated to our church. The church covered a lot of the expenses and we only had to pay a portion of it. It was still a lot of money (our portion), but not nearly as much as it would have been without our church's help.
Waiting for THE call to tell you you've been chosen by a birthparent, not to mention everything you need to do to be approved, is such a rollercoaster ride of emotions, but then again so is infertility! It's not always an easy road to go on, but it's definitely worth it in the end! I can't imagine life without my little guy now!
Good luck with whatever decision you and your husband make!
Hi, dont know how much help I can be, as we have been waiting to be matched for almost a year now. We too, did all the fertility stuff for years, but the bottom line is, we want a baby, so it doesnt matter how much it costs to get our dream. We also feel that there is a baby out there that is meant for us, there is so many babies who need good homes in Canada. I am in Calgary, and went with the "cheaper" agency and honestly, I am very happy with them. They are all so kind and patient.
If you want to chat further, please feel free to contact me =)
Adoption can be as expensive or in-expensive as you make it from my experience. International adoption is by far the most expensive for obvious reasons. If you go through a private agency it can cost a few thousand dollars and up, or you can go through the public adoptions with the government. There are plenty of younger child, although not usually babies, that are available for adoption. There is also a common thought that these children have a lot of issues, but you do get some control over what kind of problems you are willing to work with. They also give you training to deal with a lot of these things.
If you are still unsure you could look into fostering or foster-to-adopt. my husband and I were considering foster to adopt and it is great for someone wanting a baby because you are much more likely to get a foster baby that will become eligible for adoption than you are a pure adoption. Another great part about the foster-adopt is that you spend a lot of time with the child and you learn a lot about them before anything is final.
From a different point of view, as an adopted child, My life would not have been so full of opportunity if I had not been adopted and to be able to give a child that opportunity myself is wonderful.
If you want to know more about the government adoption or adopting older children you can always pm me and I'll tell you more about it! :)
Does Alberta do Foster-to-Adopt? I know Saskatchewan doesn't :( Fostering can be a great way to get some hands on experience, for sure, even if the kids don't come up for adoption. Here they warn you DO NOT FOSTER IF YOU THINK YOU WILL ADOPT THESE KIDS, because they don't want you to get your hopes dashed (or the kids hopes, because not every foster child becomes adoptable).
Good luck. It's not an easy road, but it'll be worth it in the end :)