Sleeping . Doesn't want to be put down
We are the happy parents of a 18 month old girls from china. We just got home 72 hours ago so I realize that everything is out of whack for everyone.

We spent 2 weeks in china and had no problems putting our little one down to sleep. We stayed in two different hotels during our time. She fell asleep on our shoulder and then we could put her down in the crib no problem. Sometimes naps were a little harder and we'd opt to put her in the middle of the bed instead but we could still get her to lie down by herself.

Now that we are home she refuses to be put down in a crib. She falls asleep easily on our shoulder she just seems to have developed a spidey sense that we are putting her down. For a while she wouldn't even let me sit down if we were doing a nap/sleep routine while she was awake.

Does this seem normal behavior? Should we keep trying to put her down in a crib or wait a bit and start again? I'm worried about setting up hard to break routines but at the same time trying to be mindful of attachment.

Thanks in advance
Have you had her checked out since you got back to see if she has an ear infection? C always has trouble being laid down when he does, and sometimes even when he's sniffly because of the pressure.

Remember that she needs to bond with you. C was with me at just days old, so I'm not as up on toddler attachment as some folks here are, but right now you are the most familiar thing in her world, and it's not really surprising she wouldn't want to be away from you. How do you feel about cosleeping? Is this an option for you, at least temporarily? If not, it might be easier for her if you put her down when she's sleepy but not completely asleep, and then stay with her until she falls completely asleep. C is 20 months, and I always make sure to put him down before he falls completely asleep because the change does wake him sometimes.

Good luck, hopefully some others who have more toddler attachment experience will chime in. And congratulations on your new daughter!
We haven't had her checked out yet. We go to our clinic next week. She did have a fever on the flight over we think because of teething and she does have cleft pallete, which I've heard is more prone to ear infections. It's hard to tell because as a stress response (we think) she plays with the hair around her ears, so it's hard to tell if she has an infection or just playing with the hair around her ears. (Hopefully she hasn't had a infection since we got her!!)

Yeah attachment is more important to us than having her in her own crib, I just have read that co-sleeping is one of the harder habits to break ...
Msteudel said...


Yeah attachment is more important to us than having her in her own crib, I just have read that co-sleeping is one of the harder habits to break ...


It might be one of the harder habits to break -- but it is the easiest way to facilitate attachment at this point. The only focus right now should be attachment, and if she is comfortable and actually SEEKING out touching you then I would full heartedly pursue it if you can Smile It would be FAR worse if she was comfortable with you leaving her in a crib and walking away. This is a healthy sign of insecure attachment (which is better than no attachment) and probably the BEST case scenario you can expect this early in your relationship.

Comfort, console and cuddle. Worry about breaking this habit a couple months down the road (says the mother whose almost four year old sleeps in a toddler bed next to our bed :eyebrows: ) I am a mother of six and NEVER thought I would co sleep EVER but it is what my youngest needed and it has been the best for her. It is a phase and it WILL pass (before she is 10, I promise Smile )
Toddlers generally do not like to be put to sleep. In such conditions tell them some stories and they automatically drift off to sleep.
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