Does age matter?
Hi - my husband and I are in the process of exploring transracial adoption options. I am 35 and he is 49....anyone out there experienced in adopting in their 40's? Are we going to face challenges with his age?...
I was 48 when our little guy showed up. I'd already raised three kids to adulthood.

The only thing that's been different this time around, beyond him being deaf, is that I don't get up off the floor nearly as fast as I did the first time around!

The advantages are being just a bit more relaxed about it all being older and 'wiser' Smile
I am 48 and my husband is 49. We have a 2 year old little girl adopted at birth. We also have 5 older children (3 adults, a 16 year old, and a 10 year old). I agree with PP, we are definitely older and wiser...but some days it just feels like we are 'older'Smile

We had no problem being chosen by expectant mothers (we were matched 3 times...first two we didn't proceed due to various issues that arised). Our ages were never a problem.
We were 37 and 46 when our son was placed with us as an infant. We adopted through foster care, and our ages did not matter in the slightest to the social workers who matched us. I think our wait was average given that we wanted a placement where we were likely to be able to adopt.

As it turns out, I think it's been a wonderful advantage. We're still young enough to have the energy to keep up with our son. We're financially settled enough that I was able to cut way back on work to have time with him. And I am much more patient than I was when I was younger. Our son can be quite challenging (he's also quite wonderful and I'm crazy about him, but no one would call him an easy kid!) so in my case, I'm a much better mother for him than I would have been in my 20's.
We adopted the first time when we were 39 and 41 and the second time when we were 41 and 43. The birth mothers that chose us were 25 and 16 years old and didn't seem to think we were too old so I think you'll be okay.
The only additional challenge is if you are adopting transracially, people may assume that you are the biological grandparents!

We are in the process of adopting a biracial baby from fc. We are 44 and 46...ouch! And for sure it is harder to get up off the floor....everything creaks! We also have a seven year old biracial dd.

Oh, and my (white) aunt whose grandson is biracial always gets asked if she is his adoptive mom! So you never know....people like trying to figure it out sometimes!

Best of luck to you!
loveajax said...
The only additional challenge is if you are adopting transracially, people may assume that you are the biological grandparents!

We are in the process of adopting a biracial baby from fc. We are 44 and 46...ouch! And for sure it is harder to get up off the floor....everything creaks! We also have a seven year old biracial dd.

Oh, and my (white) aunt whose grandson is biracial always gets asked if she is his adoptive mom! So you never know....people like trying to figure it out sometimes!

Best of luck to you!



Yes, meant to say I feel old as dirt right now. lol
And I've been mistaken for being my son's grandmother. I didn't think I looked *that* old!
loveajax said...
The only additional challenge is if you are adopting transracially, people may assume that you are the biological grandparents!

We are in the process of adopting a biracial baby from fc. We are 44 and 46...ouch! And for sure it is harder to get up off the floor....everything creaks! We also have a seven year old biracial dd.

Oh, and my (white) aunt whose grandson is biracial always gets asked if she is his adoptive mom! So you never know....people like trying to figure it out sometimes!

Best of luck to you!


My daughter is 26 and if we're out with her husband and her little brother, the assumption is she's mom and we're the grandparents.

Guess it just goes with the territory!
Thanks so much everyone!!! Definitely feeling better after hearing your stories. Wish us luck!!! Smile
All times are GMT. The time now is 7:08 am.
TOP