extended birth family issues that make me want to go ugh

I have a very large extended bio-and-adoptive-family, so I totally feel you on this one Gmarie. Regarding the Facebook stuff-- I don't post a bunch of stuff to facebook for just this reason. Social media has a way of letting things like this spin out of control. when I do post things that I don't want to start a 'wall war' over, then I adjust the privacy settings so that the people that might get crazy about it don't even see it. You can also set categories and block individual people from doing certain things on your page-- I think you can even set it so certain people cannot post on your wall or comment on your posts. If something does slip through that I don't like or that starts a crazy conversation on my wall, I just delete those comments. Do this enough and they get the message. I simply don't engage with any name-calling or vitriol on my page. Offline, though, I did end up having to pull back from some members of the birthfamily (my bfather's side) because I just couldn't handle the drama. I was getting firebombed from time to time with nasty emails out of nowhere calling me names, saying that I am a bad daughter, ungrateful, not Christian, etc, etc. The 'Not christian" ones are the best aren't they? As if putting someone on blast on a social media site is somewhere in the Ten Commandments.... thou shalt police the comments and actions of those on the internet... In all honesty, if I were in your situation I would be thinking along the lines you already are-- focusing on maintaining relationships with the family members that act like grown-ups (your bio-sis's mom). I don't know if that is 'healthy' or sustainable, but in truth it is what I have done in my own life. Take that for what it is worth? Sorry this is happening to you.