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Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting so hopefully I am doing this right. My partner and I are in southern California and were certified to foster and adopt on December 18, 2012 and are currently in the process of searching for the one (or two!) to expand our family! We actually came across a 10-year old boy that we expressed interest in and submitted our home study, and at the same time have a home study submitted for a sibling set of 2 boys - a 4 and 5 year old. Our preference is for a younger boy, or a sibling set of 2 younger boys or a younger boy and girl. I guess the reason why I joined this forum is because I have this overwhelming feeling of uncertainty and am anxious too. I know the process takes time and my partner and I are just trying to go on with our lives while we wait as patiently as we can, but can anyone provide any advice or experience? I can honestly say that I have never quite felt this way before and it's hard to relax and see what happens! We have so much love to give a child in need and it's hard not to wish this would move faster! Thanks! :dance: :dance:
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I think waiting is the hardest part. Then you get a placement and stress wondering if they will every truly be yours. The best thing to do is stay busy and go about your life as you did before. The call will come sooner than you think. No matter which children you are matched with it takes time to get to know them and to bond. Don't be discouraged if you meet a couple kids and don't feel that pull, or do feel that pull and then have it diminish a bit as their behaviors come out. It's a long process with many emotional ups and downs but those are totally normal feelings. Best of luck to you and your partner on finding your forever family. I'm sure they will be two lucky kiddos. Oh, and I fully support gong for two. I feel like they get to share the experience of being adopted and I think it helped our girls stay well adjusted through everything they've been through.
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Thank you for the encouraging words and advice! My partner and I actually got a call from our social worker a few days ago and she said that out of all the home studies submitted for the 10-year old boy we are interested in, his case worker selected US!!! We almost didn't know how to react as we were in shock! He is the original one we were looking at over 7 months ago and we were matched! We think maybe it's meant to be since all signs keep pointing to him! Now we are waiting for the call from our social worker to find out when the "telling" is. She said that since Orange County works so quickly we should hear very soon. We are in Riverside County ourselves, but in her experience out of all the counties the agency we are going through services (San Diego, Orange, Los Angeles, Riverside, San Bernardino), Orange is the fastest one. As we do want to ultimately have two children, if this match works out our plan is to start with him, then eventually add a little girl to the family! We are anxious to see what happens next! :happydance: :banana:
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Thank you everyone for the kind words! T-minus one week, 3 hours and 28 minutes until my partner and I go to the disclosure meeting! I'm glad this week is kind of busy for us, otherwise it would make the next 7 days take forever! Does anyone know by any chance how long it can take until we actually meet the child if we say yes after the meeting? Our social worker told us that Orange County usually says talk it over for 24 hours after the meeting then make a decision. We are hoping that if we say yes we will be able to meet him within the next week or two after that. :grouphug:
Thanks!
Dustin :thankyou:
So some exciting news! After my partner and I went to the disclosure meeting we talked it over and decided to move forward with the process!! The case workers of the 10-year old boy who we plan to adopt said that they would tell him about us and show him our family book, then they would arrange the first meeting with him at his foster mom's home. They said it will probably be a couple weeks or so until we meet him for the first time. So now we just wait to see when the day is we get to meet our future son!! :love: :banana:
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Congratulations! I bet the wait is killing you, but take some time to enjoy your last bit of time as a carefree childless couple...LOL! FWIW I think it's great that you get to meet at the foster mom's home. She knows him better than anyone on the case, and if she knows you're willing to listen, she will hopefully tell you the things that work don't work with him. My son's FM was my best resource in making the transition and adjustment successful. It may also be a comfort to him to see you interact well with FM if he is attached to her.Can't wait to hear more after your first meeting!