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We have a little man (6yrs) who was displaying some serious attachment issues in his previous foster home. He was there for quite a while. We had a weekend visit with him, and it went beautifully. We totally got charmed and were like "oh we can do this." He moved in with us a little over a month ago, and things disintegrated rapidly. Control struggles, wetting, serious aggression, cruelty to animals, lying, triangulation/manipulation, etc...
I would think the initial challenges were because of the trauma of the move, but it is consistent with his behavior in his previous home. The past week and a half have been significantly easier, but it feels off? I don't really know how to explain it. My gut makes me feel like it's not genuine, though I would love to be wrong. It feels almost like we've been relegated back to the "strangers" category we were in the first weekend v. the "are you going be my new mom and dad?" manic-ness of the crazy behavior times. Does that make sense? /rambling
Long story short, is it possible to go back into the honeymoon after a couple of weeks?
I wish we could KNOW - is this honeymoon? Not honeymoon? Will things get really bad again? And when? I know we can't predict the future, but ugh!
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We have a almost 5 yo with attachment as well as other mental health issues. He as been with us for over a year and we are adopting.
I would definitely say that his issues cycle. We go though phases where he seems happy and able to cope with things. He is cuddly and rarely have a problem. His attachment seems to grow and he is healing from his trauma.
Then we go though phases where he is almost a wild child. He pushes us away and is naughty. He tries to make us mad.
Then we cycle back.
With each swing I wonder is he healing and will he ever stop cycling. I know that he is healing, but the cycle will probably never stop. Their are triggers all around for him.
In the hard times I remind myself that he needs to be nurtured and he is testing to see if we are real. Will we keep him (yes) or give up on him (no)?
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Thanks for sharing! That's what I'm thinking is going to happen with this little guy, even though we've only known him for 6-7 weeks so far. I have seen him go through mini-cycles across a week, which leads me to think that it might be a long-term pattern that will unveil itself. I guess only time will tell! I just hope that if we cycle it's 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, so that we're still 1 step forward :)