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I'm 20 years old and I got pregnant at 16. My daughter is turning 3 next month. Well I'm starting to have a lot of problems resulting from the adoption. I keep going through a grief, depression, and anger cycle. I can't kick it. I've had 2 failed relationships with my problems stemming from the adoption and the unresolved feelings.
My family forced me into adoption and didn't give me a choice. I wasn't allowed to explore the help that was out there to help me. It's an open adoption. My sisters husbands sister has her. So technically sister in law has custody. They are a very wealthy loving family don't get me wrong. They told me that I was a priority in their lives to have me interact with my child as much as possible, but every time they come down where I live, they either don't tell me or plan activities with everyone else but me and have me come last. I'm hurt and honestly angered.
I don't know what to do or who to go to for help because I know I need professional help but I want to know if anyone else can relate to me and help me through this and I can help them.
I've become so angry and stressed out. I've also had to go through 4 pregnancies since giving birth to my daughter. Don't judge me there was certain circumstances and I will only explain to people that I can become close with on here. I'm looking for mainly support and someone I can talk to on a daily basis.
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Grief can be a lifelong battle. We all work through grief in our own way and in or own time. Even after we work through a stage of grief, something can trigger us and we have to sort it out again. I placed my son almost 22 years ago and I am still working through my grief about it. Like you, I was a teenager and was not given a choice in the matter. You need to try to find a counselor that deals with adoption related grief. I really don't think an ordinary counselor "gets it". Of course, if there is no adoption grief counselors in your area then a regular counselor is better than no counselor. My thought, prayers and many hugs go out to you as you try to navigate this very difficult journey.
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My heart reaches out to you for what you are dealing with and as I read your words I can relate very much to them. Reaching out is one of the first, and most difficult things to do, and you can take faith in your strength even if it feels small.
Beyond that, I agree with the other poster, try to reach out a little further and seek therapy. I was so isolated for so many years and that is a regret I have. Someone out there understands and can help. I promise.
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I can completely relate to the depression, anger and failed relationships... Life just never seems to be the way you want it to be. My daughter is only a few years older than yours if your interested in messaging back and forth and being angry together... haha. For me, the only honest thing that has been helping is weekly counselling. It took a long time to find a counsellor I liked, but when I did I never looked back. Every week, I go to her with the same problems about my daughter, and every week I leave feeling like somebody out there knows my truest feelings about the adoption and understands. Counselling is for everyone, and can be a lifesaver! Maybe this could work for you too?
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I want to talk to you. I am 27 I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter and the courts have decided she is better off with my sister and her family. My sister and I do not get along. I've known my daughter for her whole life and now that's about to change and I feel lonely abandoned and depressed. I need support too
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