Needing Some Encouragement

First, I'm sorry about your hand. I make sure that I have I have at least one day a month for myself. I am a single mom to 2 very active boys, one with special needs (hearing impaired with global delays among other things). That day is so important to me to recharge. The other thing, and it may seem weird to some, that I do is that after the boys are asleep at night I do Wii Sports. Especially the training for baseball and bowling let me get a lot of stress out. Doing this for about 1/2 hour does an amazing job of getting rid of any irritation that has built up during the day. I also do Wii Fit Plus for a more aerobic workout. The biking and running 'games' are great for this.

We have the xbox 360 so I will need to try this! Thanks! :happydance:

I'm not seeing anything in your post that makes you sound like a terrible person; I'm really hoping you aren't feeling that way about yourself or hearing it from others.I'm a single mom to one crazy toddler. I definitely agree about the time to myself. I recently had almost a week's vacation, and I chose to send my kiddo to daycare anyway. He needs the routine and the interaction, and I needed to clean my house, do some projects, and get some "me" time. I also try to connect with friends, especially those who have kids. We can get together and enjoy each other, and the kids can do the same. I also make sure to use my support system - I have one friend in particular who is "my person" - the one where we call each other with everything. So I make sure to call her and let her know what is up, and to call my mom (we're close). I've learned that letting people know when I'm feeling overwhelmed/ incompetent/ horrible is really important, because they usually don't agree.I like the Wii sports idea, too. I had been doing Wii fit for a while, but I got out of the habit; they've got some good dance ones, too. I really need to get back into doing that.

Thank you ruth74, sometimes I do feel that way. But I need to find that "person".

Oh my! I have ONE kid and am exhausted most of the time...I cannot imagine 4! You've got to have some time for yourself. I work full time, but every Monday I have a group I lead at one of my agency's other sites. I finish before time to pick up my son, but it wouldn't really be worth it to drive back to my office because by the time I got there I would just have about half an hour to do any work before I'd have to leave (and I work over 40 hours already). I've started taking that hour and a half and going to a coffee shop that's on the way to the babysitter's. it gives me time to check Facebook, upload photos, work on our family photo album on shutterfly-stuff I enjoy doing, but don't have time to (but not work!) having this 90 minutes every week has made such a difference. I feel like I have some time to myself, so when I pick up my son I'm lighter...ready to play...

Melissa,I am impressed at you even having time to post this with four kids. I would decide what is important for you to do and what isn't important and then stop doing it. Perhaps with your hand (ouch sorry about that) you might have the girls hair braided or done in some other low maintenance style by a friend so that there is less struggle for you and hubby in keeping it up while your hand heals. Are you are sparkling housekeeper? Time to start vacuuming once a week and dusting once a month. Hopefully those changes will give you a little more time to breathe and recharge yourself. Do you have friends or family that you can ask for ask for help? What is amazing to me is how many people are willing to help and are just waiting to be asked. Also, its amazing how rarely people ask.Good luck and sending you some energy to make it.

Thank you! Yes I am am a neat freak. Which I am learning is not going to happen with 4 kids. :eek: I never do ask for help but maybe I need to start.

If you can afford it, hire someone to clean your house. Even occasionally. My folks bought me a number of hours with a housekeeping service for a holiday gift, and I think that's the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. They're coming once a month to clean the bathroom, do the floors, and dust; I do the daily/ weekly maintenance.

Melissa,I too went from a family of zero to 4 in one year. It's hard life gets crazy and I just recently hired someone to help me in the house. (wish I would have done that sooner). We're here to help you and yes you need to find that one person. I've got 3. Sometimes they're the stresser but usually my only outlet.

Sometimes we just have to stop and "breathe"! We are not called to be perfect and it is ok to lighten up on the things that really aren't so important so we can make time for ourselves. Sometimes making a list of everything you think needs to be done or taken care of, and then really reading and thinking about it, allows you to cross some of those things off the list, give yourself a break. Wishing you success with your surgery and 100% healing!

have to agree with the BREATHE too!