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over the past 2 years I have helped my mother find out information on her birth family,All have passed except a woman who i am 99% sure is her birth sister. But we are unsure if she knows that her mother had a child before her and put her up for adoption. We sent a letter with some of the information we found along with a copy of the birth certificate but have not heard anything yet. The "birth" sister has facebook and i see that she is on there alot. would it be wrong to contact her through there? how long should i give her before i try to make contact again?
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I would give it at least one to two months before following up with a FB message.She, however, may not get the FB message though because you are not already friends. It will go into the "other" messages area, and many people are unaware of that section, so they never see those messages.If she didn't know about your mother, she has had quite a shock, and it could take some time before you receive a response back from her, if at all.
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If your sister was close to her mom and was never told about you, it may take her a while to deal with her anger and feeling of betrayal toward her. It's really difficult to deal with those feelings when the person who kept the secret has passed away.I went through a similar scenario a few years ago. I stumbled across some information one night that blew my mind. I found a woman in her 60's searching for siblings...and the name of her natural mother was the grandmother of my son whom I placed for adoption back in 1972, right after I turned 17. I had always wondered the reasons for her behavior during my pregnancy and the relinquishment of her grandchild. I finally got my question answered many years later when I was researching my son's paternal genealogy and came across his grandmother's unusual name. She had placed her first child for adoption in the early 1940's, a few years before she married and had her subsequent daughter and son. She never divulged her secret to anybody...I didn't know what to do with this information, as my son's grandmother had passed away about ten years before, and I couldn't talk to the father of my son because he was killed back in the mid-1990s. I ended up contacting Mike's sister and telling her she had an older sibling who was looking for her. Mike's sister had always been extremely close to their mom, and she felt totally betrayed that she had been kept in the dark all those years about her older sister's existence. It took her at least six months to process it all and get in touch with sister. It was pretty touch and go there for a few months as to if she would contact her at all, but I'm pleased to say that they've got a good relationship now and have met several times in real life.
Thank you for your reply. I am so afraid of rejection. It took me 2 years to get my Mother in law to let me write that letter and actually send it to her "Biological sister" I'm just anxious. My mother in-law only has me and her son left. Her husband,youngest son and adoptive parents have all passed.I did 2 years of research and know so much about the family but a few small details are missing. We recently went to the grave of the "biological mother" she said it helped her feel as though she really existed. I know I need to give it time. I just hope my mother in law realizes this as well.